About Traumatized Motherfuckers

Our purpose

The MF MO is to provide education and support resources for understanding:
– how the past has influenced your automatic brain activities,
– how your brain activities have impacted your life outcomes,
– and how your real Self is waiting to redesign your future.

Preaching the message:
You’re not damaged, doomed, or better off dead. 
You CAN take control of your mental health, reprogram your thoughts, and start building a life you actually want
…even if you didn’t receive the foundations your brain needed from your fam.

And you don’t have to do it alone.

“

The Story of TMFRs

Fuckle up, it’s been a ride.

Traumatized Motherfuckers began as a blog in 2019, about a year after this Motherfucker found out the good news about CPTSD.

In the midst of an abusive relationship ending, I realized how lonely it was having a head that was built by CPTSD and wrecked with cyclical trauma-replays. Alone and isolated in a distant city/state post-breakup, I created TMFRs as a resource for people who were starting to understand the origins of their mental behaviors and life outcomes, like I was. I hosted in-person Meetup groups and encouraged internet comrades to share their own stories, attempting to start new conversations that overcame the obstacle of “acceptable” social disclosure.

Then, in 2020 the blog became a podcast.

On a pandemic-whim the first episode of Complex Trauma Recovery; We are Traumatized Motherfuckers was recorded, alone in my rented room, with a $10 mic. To the extreme shock of my fucking Self, people started organically finding and tuning into my voiced-words. Podcast plays, listener stories, and subscribers started pouring in as COVID raged on. And I realized there was a real need for honest, less-sunshiney, educationally-rooted, discussions of living with CPTSD in audio form.

But the project evolutions didn’t stop there.

Over time, the podcast transitioned from being a highly personal account of discovering Complex Trauma as the answer to a lifetime of mysteries… to being a more research-based show, capitalizing on my past life as a peer-reviewed published scientist. At the same time, I returned to school to get my M.S. in Psych/Behavioral Science. This granted me access to the studies and scholarly documents that are normally kept away from the pulic’s reach, while my education began offering additional insights into “how brains end up this way” through repeated exposure to traumatic events and the dysregulated individuals who raised us. TMFRs rapidly became an educational outlet, not just a validation farm.

And the community began building itself, throughout.

The folks who connected with the message of TMFRs also deeply connected with my story, thoughts, feelings, and existential fears. There was an uncanny self-recognition in what was being presented, and it became clear that our seemingly-different trauma histories had patterned our brains to be surprisingly similiar. Even more significant was the realization that those of us who had “been through it” had better wisdom than most trained professionals. In summer of 2020 the first iteration of the Discord community was created, aimed at bringing these otherwise-isolated individuals together so we could discuss the nuances, caveats, struggles and successes we experienced as we attempted to recreate our cognitive programs and our lives.

But you live and learn from your mistakes.

While the mission has always been to spread sanity-instilling information far and wide, especially to people like myself who otherwise couldn’t afford therapy or other life supporting resources… it turns out there are downsides to freely inviting the general public to join in. The community wasn’t always “safe for all,” due to the inherent reactivity and accidental abuse replays that come with CPTSD histories. And the harassment on this end of the mic became considerable. In 2021 we gated the support community and deeper research details to build a place for highly committed and self-accountable MFs to gather and grow. A less triggering, less risky, and increasingly recovery-oriented community was born, for the good of the whole group.

Today, TMFRs is a continually-evolving DIY community project.

I may steer this ship, but the podcast streams and community have become their own ever-adapting entities, based on the needs and experiences of the MFs who make them up. The private podcast now generally follows a topical framework; diving deeply into trauma-tangential issues month by month in a series-format that includes my research and your real life recorded reflections. The public podcast has become a place for summarizing the findings of the mack-daddy private shows in an easily consumable format for the masses; it’s the beacon that draws in the other like-minded Fuckers who are looking for answers and personal advancement. Meanwhile, the community is currently guided by dedicated volunteer Server Staff, and features a heavy focus on “Parts work,” identity healing, shame relief, self-accountability, relational practicing, safe communication, gender and sexuality issues. And the MFs who are deeply engaged in the whole shebang? Have become trusted comrades, confidants, and recovery models for all.

What started as one lone Fucker’s attempt at feeling less isolated and insane?

Has become a Community Healing effort, powered by re-education and real MFs around the globe. We focus on healing and integrating our “trauma-born selves” as we empower and align with our “full authentic Self” to create existences with personal “purpose.” Creating lives that are actually worth living, rather than following in the cognitive footsteps of those who came before. It’s science x community healing x “that soul/spirit-thing.” And I never could have done it without all of you.

Hail yer damn Self.

Hail Archie.

And Cheers, y’all.

MFJess