Trauma leaves us without a stable sense of self… and if that’s the CPTSD symptom you’ve struggled to comprehend the most, don’t worry! Psychology agrees, it’s poorly defined and understood.

Article: Psychology Takes a New Look at the Self. What you can learn from a new approach to the question “Who am I?”

Read it here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-at-any-age/202408/psychology-takes-a-new-look-at-the-self

For what it’s worth…

At TMFRs HQ we break it down into:

That’s:

the Self

the self

and all yer goddamn parts. (major image distortions splitting problems)

The “self” itself, though?

Is only a portion of the story.

And it’s a damn mess to understand through a psychological lens.

Here’s an episode all about this wonky terminology, if you prefer to listen.

At a minimum, when considering the self there’s:

Sense of self – the awareness of being in your body, across time and circumstance

self-esteem – sense of safety and trust existing within your own skin, piloted by your own brain

Identity – internal representation of the cumulative characteristics of an individual & their consequences on earth

Private self – who we are alone

Social self – who we are around others

Looking glass self – who we understand ourselves to be, through others

Autiobiographical self – the cohesive story of you, across your entire lifetime

How to see the self, simply

Long story short (as we’ve learned to understand it)…

The “self” is related to punishments and rewards, which have formed your identity through social engagements.

Your brain has worked very hard to understand who it is, what it’s worth, and how it’s allowed to behave on this wet rock.

… That does not mean your brain has gotten it correct.

It also does not mean that your social experiences have accurately reflected who you are or what you’re “permitted” to do.

And THIS is the trauma problem with “self.”

CPTSD and the self:

Many of us have “split” our selves, due to highly conflictual information about our identity and value.

Many of us have learned to believe that we are far different / less consequential than we truly are.

Many of us have highly negative relationships with our selves, which pushes us into highly punishing methods of existing to apologize for existing.

And most of us have absolutely no idea who we authentically are or what we’re capable of, because our environments have not permitted us to accurately find out.

If you struggle with “self issues” and CPTSD…

Trust that it’s not a weakness of character or proof of low value.

It’s a symptom of being unsupported socially.

Some selves are encouraged to self-develop, self-express, and live self-authentically.
Some selves are taught they’re burdens, nuisances, and wrong.

CPTSD recovery is about find your real self and having the audacity to bring it into the real world, maybe for the first time ever.

And finding out your self is so much more than you or the people who raised you ever recognized.

…. ready to forge a new relationship with the one Fucker you’ll never be able to avoid?

Come hang out, learn all about self vs Self vs parts vs your real experience on earth… and learn who you really are, among a bunch of selves doing the same.

✌️💓and self actualization