Re: stressworld. Let’s apply what we’ve researched bout narcs, from their incoherent personalities to their unresilient behavioral motivations. Here come the points to always remember about toddlers dressed in adult skin.

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Transcript:

Ahoy, fuckers! And let’s talk. Today, I thought we might ground some of our thoughts and anxieties

into the research that we’ve done in the past to come up with some applicable, practical

points that we can remember when we’re having a difficult day or years. So today, we’re

jumping into our first episode per the topical community, NARC, response, and recovery. Let’s

discuss what we know from psychology and personality research that, for me, makes them far less

frightening, such as their disintegrated self-structure. We can dissolve their personalities

from one single adaptable, responsive, and flexible unit that works as a collective whole

in order to execute their will into far less resourceful and wise, adaptable or responsible,

realistically reflective of age or experience, psychological parts, many of which are locked in

childhood with their childlike mental emotional maturity. Children have a stage of developmental

narcissism until the age of four or five when they begin to understand that others exist and are

equally important. Narcissists don’t learn that. They are children on the inside, still living by

two to three-year-old mindsets, expectations, and emotional capacities, meaning they know very little

when they’re in these personality states. They lack tact and they’re generally weakened by their

compartmentalized thinking. They lack overarching integrative viewpoints. So due to these

incohesive split personality portions that they become locked into, especially with upset,

the narcissist’s thinking goes into these trance-like, limited, highly reactive bits.

And all they can see at that point are pieces of reality at a time with, again,

very limited mental and emotional capacities on top of it. So rather than a continuous and

interconnected view of events, they can only focus on microscopic portions and their big

feelings about them. Meaning overall they have poor planning and processing, leading to short-term,

compulsive, unwise behaviors. They fuck themselves. So thought processing can go by the wayside if one

part of the psyche is very dominant or being interrupted by another, which is quite likely.

And effective planning takes a backseat when you can only chase one rabbit at a time. You can only

see a tiny portion of your chosen reality rather than the broad view. Meaning their actions proceed

with great urgency and, again, extremely limited unidirectional thinking that’s probably not

catching all of the possibilities. Likely this is due to their emotionally crippled nature.

Narcissists have a feeling. They project it on the world and they react as if the world

caused that feeling, resulting in short-term, compulsive, again, unwise behaviors.

They have temper tantrums. Their fragile will is trying to exert control through demonstrating

force. Things like that. All of these are mere demonstrations of weaknesses and wounds

that the narcissist carries, which have not been dealt with, will not be dealt with, and therefore

can be mutinous to the owner. They can be the point that weakens the entire system.

So the narcissist has an overall ability to be knocked off center due to these wounds,

their portioned psyches, and resulting feelings that they can get trapped into.

Their shows of anger are mere presentations of their pains and weaknesses, which will not be

healed or rectified. Keep in mind, also, the narcs completely socially mediated ego. They are

fundamentally self insecure and require others to make up for that shortcoming so that they can

function. They have illusionary self concepts, which are self-esteem dependent on others acting

as their constant crutches. They must be given continual reinforcement that they exist, that

they’re seen, that they are right and powerful, that people think about them. And also, like a

toddler, two to four years old, if they aren’t getting enough attention, negative attention

will do the trick. They must at least be acknowledged. It doesn’t have to be good.

Just don’t forget about them. Hence, the headlines. So we know everything in every interaction is

about the narc and the narc receiving some sort of social support. And thus, they are

incapable of real social collaboration. Compromise. They’re relationally stunted in this toddler

mode. This mine, it’s only me and what I have mentality. So they’re continually, ultimately

threatened by every other being and lacking communication skills to overcome any challenges

in those inherently threatening relationships. Meaning a group of rogue self warriors is in

charge. They don’t really share a common goal together. They each share a common goal separately

of their own personal success coming to fruition. They don’t actually support each other. They

support themselves through the illusion of supporting each other. They are not a united front,

and they cannot overcome their differences or their egos. Combined with their sensitivity to

attachments and expectations, meaning that they’re unable to withstand any failure, uncertainty or

unexpected change, it all suggests that they are not adaptable. They, provenly in research and in

real life, are not as applicably smart as they believe they are. They don’t like to think twice,

and their immediate instincts are generally not correct. And again, they cannot work out their

interpersonal challenges, which could be based on any of these previously mentioned points.

They only dominate, manipulate, and use each other so that, really, their sensitivity to

attachments and expectations puts them in a compromised position where they must feel as

though they are being successful, and they also must depend on the people around them

to believe the same thing. Therefore, they have weak psyches, emotional capacities, relational

skills, very low resilience, and they rely on delusions, remaining delusions, on lies

being perpetuated by grander lies so that they forever feel comfortable. They also must have

the sense of an ability to control others forever, and a sense of reality always falling into place

for them the way that they want in order for them to simply keep living and trying.

They are lacking long-term tenacity. They’re dependent on positive outcomes to maintain

their sense of control, rightness, and ability to be and keep going. Their ego is not adaptive.

It does not weather storms. If something negative happens, they’re not seeking a lesson underneath

it in order to behave better next time. They only have an okay time in life and remain in the grandiose

form of narcissism if they can create a story that supports their sense of rightness and then

can create another story and then another and another that continually spits in the face of

reality to keep them thinking that they’re doing everything correct, which points damingly a stank

finger d-a-s-f, also the name of my first poetry book, to the fact that they are dependent on

socially mediated ego and perhaps ultimately physical survival. They literally require,

they must have others in order to support their self-determined thoughts, aka not their reality

determined thoughts. They don’t really have those and they need this so that the illusion or real

achievement of success is somehow possible to them. People who won’t question their stories or

bring up their obvious failings and instead continue to pump material through their pipes

of self-gratifying delusion are necessary for them to keep doing their thing.

They must have little lackey boys, butthole-nosers, and bootlickers.

Little pause here so you can think about them. Hmm, yes, the picture is in my mind. There they are.

However, we also need to realize, Narks attract Narks. Who wants to be in the company of puffy

orange old women masquerading as men in wigs or block-headed bullies from every 90s movie,

face blown up into macy day parade, balloon proportions, and stuck on a doughy bod.

Only them. Only they want that. So who’s enabling high-powered Narks?

Other high-powered Narks. As long as they get some kickback or have a longer term plan for their own

success. And let’s talk about what that all means.

Narcissists, yes, are a huge pain in the ass for all of us. We fear them because of their ability

to disrupt without any sense of reality or care to uphold it. They have the potential to keep

tunneling upwards from their pain in an ass position if other people enable them. And that is

frightening. But they’re not very powerful themselves. They’re dependent on systems around

them for support. Inconsistent alone, not ultra-effective long-term. They can’t sustain a

long plan against any obstacle. They require wins in order to keep going in any capacity.

And they need attention for their brain to even have a reason to function.

Because their sense of rightness is so correlated with social reinforcement,

they’re continually seeking evidence for self-confirmation. That means they’re easy to

mislead. They see what they want to see, what they need to see, or else again, they literally cannot

keep moving. They are walking delusion factories to enable their own existence. And that means

increase malicious compliance, increase their false calm. They accept it easily unless they

are in a paranoid spiral. They want to believe that you think the way they think that they’re

pretty great. So you don’t have to be on their side for real most of the time. You just have to give

them enough material that confirms what they hope about themselves to be true. And to upset the

situation, realize that they’re absolutely motivated by performance reinforcement. They’re

imbalanced by being ignored, disempowered, and thrown off their usual tactics when their normal

confirmation of self isn’t delivered back. The grandiose narcissist is only grandiose when the

environment allows it. Taken together, they are destined to fail and fall eventually.

The question is when, and more importantly, on to whom. The damage that they can do is only prolonged

and expanded with social enablement, with other people bolstering their sense of self. But unless

everyone plays along, the steam engine is destined to pitch and fall off the tracks at some point

if people are not seeing things the way that they want them to and are instead resisting.

Now, maybe the steam engine will fall onto other tracks that are also unpleasant and

filled with negative outcomes for the people that are challenging them. Let’s not refuse to acknowledge

that. But it will be done in a flailing manner that lacks executed control or grace or efficacy,

especially long term, for all of the reasons that we have discussed. It’s a system that can only run

out of energy, at which point the animal is in a desperate state, exhausting itself,

losing support and false support, undermined by that false support as other people rise up

to try to garnish their own success. The animal is out of control of the situation and thrashing.

And another animal, well rested, perhaps less desperate, less fragmented, can show up

with long term goals in mind to deliver the final blow or to claim leadership of the remaining pack.

And what it all means overall, is that in a lot of ways, it could be very easy to promote

their downfall, because they are fools relying on other fools to be the same. Because they don’t

have the power of theory of mind to understand, empathize, or outsmart people who don’t think

like them. Or people like me, and maybe others raised by Narx, who to some extent, can think a

whole lot like them, and choose not to, because it’s a weak and destructive way to life.

Those of us with that knowledge, have a bit of an upper hand on seeing what might be going on,

and knowing what would personally destroy us, and therefore, I can give you some points.

But, it will be explosive, because we know about Narx, that they do not go down without trying to

blow the whole thing up. So if we want, we can easily undermine their woundings, those things

that they will never heal, and will only wildly react to. But, we must expect slap backs with

unplanned and escalating ramifications that are meant to intimidate the lowerlings back into order.

We must keep in mind that force from below will be meant with control from above.

And that is where community is key. If they cut off resources from outside,

we support ourselves from inside. Two Narx parents do not mean shit, if the three kids

stick together to meet their own needs and protect themselves down below. That’s the mentality that we

need. And for some of us, how fitting. And what a chance for healing, huh? A real redo on a Narx-based

childhood awaits. Additionally, we know that if we withdraw attention, there’s a good chance of

escalation. But those will be wild behaviors to regain fear and engagement. It’s a laser and light

shell, and it can get very bright. It can get very close to home. I’m not saying it’s anything to laugh

about. I am saying each measure they take to create shock and awe, or a greater sense of demoralizing

control, creates more action that they have to take, more planning and execution, and more

resistance that they could have to meet as they piss off more people. So, like parents trying to

make a million rules for the household, then they have to make sure that the rules are being followed,

right? There’s a dark side to their attempts to dominate. They have to create systems of

checking and punishing and broadcasting the results. So overall, it’s just more headaches

and tenuous continual effort trying to control everyone, when everyone can scatter in about a

million different directions and do a lot of different damages should they choose to.

So if the Narq is ambitious enough, and falsely supported by other self-centered snakes who are

ultimately trying to eat the king themselves, and meanwhile they’re threatened by things

kind of not feeling like they’re really going their way, even though there is some confusing

illusion of compliance going on, so that they start being more offensive to be defensive

in a paranoid state, trying to demonstrate their will to everyone. And thus, they create systems of

increased lockdown, which require increased watching, policing, attempts at disempowering,

with the underlings nodding their heads saying, “Okay, you win. You’re too strong.”

And then conspiring in the blanket fort after dark and supporting each other through the turmoil,

so it isn’t as impactful as their control tactics are expected to be.

Thus, creating an energetic vacuum where increasingly desperate blows don’t land,

and the whole domineering animal starts shutting down via its own futile attempts to keep

functioning with its missing, infected, betraying, thrashing limbs. I mean, I don’t know. Sounds like

a plan. Don’t get disenfranchised. Don’t get thrown into a similarly dangerous mindset, especially

if you are prone to, because you yourself may have a disintegrated system to work with.

Don’t get yourself radicalized or give up your morals in those compartmentalized survival states,

and let them tumble themselves the way narcs always do if they aren’t propped up like

Bernie’s Big Weekend by the sycophants around them. And also, during that plan, if we realize that

it sounds like ultimately something must come to an end, but what do they say? Hmm.

When civilians fall, they fall on the weakest. We need to be mindful that as the “kids in this

system” right now, we need to be nourished, connected, and in community so that we can

support each other when the attacks rain down on those of us who are already in the weakest positions

to develop and maintain our own philosophies, our chosen approaches to life, our manners of relating

in order to prepare for the time when we can make the move, when we can step up to the old animal

and birth a new start for the whole herd. We need to be ready to come together ourselves,

and we need to be ready for everything around us to get a bit skewed.

So next time, let’s talk about that reality, the difficulties around communing, and what we truly

need to expect looking forward based on all that we know. So let’s not get disheartened,

demoralized, or disintegrated in the face of their own. Let’s join up here again to discuss

disruption, disinformation, delusion, yarvo, common enemies, martyred employees,

covert narcissism, and the grandiose kickback. We’ll also talk about the systems that we

know, how narc families and societies reflect each other, which leaves us, well,

pretty strangely equipped if we confront our wounds instead of falling into our own

childhood helplessness or narcissistic tendencies. And let’s chat about what that all means in

practical steps that we can take starting right now to help the narcs tumble their damn selves

with the smallest of S’s. I’ll see you there, fuckers, in the next Mervin Along.

Remember, we’ll be okay if we help to keep each other okay on the ground. Don’t let your

brain tell you that it’s all over or that you are alone. You aren’t. Try to stay integrated the way

that they can’t. Use type two processing to rethink your initial thoughts and emotions the way that

they can’t and tap into the wisdom that they inherently lack while working on real lasting

co-supportive relationships with long-term mutual benefits also the way that they can’t.

And let’s topple this tower together. Get ready for Mars to start moving, y’all. Here we go.

Please review your relationships and let’s start to foster the ones that you trust. I’ll see you

next time when we pick up this conversation again. Till then, hail yourself. It’s much

stronger than that of the narcissist. And cheers, y’all. Goodbye.