The Final Round.
For those who don’t like surprises, here’s what’s next for TMFRs.
Transcript | VulNarcs and Past Negative Time Orientation; Using Time, Space, Energy for Growth or Narcissism
So, I hope you listened to that little introduction to 2024 that I just released. As I told you, I’m…. quitting this show. This is either the FINAL season or, finally, the season in which I get my groove back and can’t stop dancing to the music. I’m not sure which....
Top Words of 2023
A short n lite NY diddy. Let’s talk abruptly-popular words in 2023, what they mean about the common collective, and where we might be headed.Top Words of 2023
Hoooo Fuckers, I’m literally counting down the hours until this shitstain of a year is over. 35 and a half at time of recording! And I almost forgot to do something that I really wanted to do before the time was up. To write this minisode. Here’s the gist. Every...
NY2024 Exercise Origin
Some personal accounting. Through the PTSDs and back – the ignominious origins of the 2024 reflection episode and results so far. If you make it til the end, quiet in the comments please 😉 FYEO 🍻 Cheers, Fucker. . Here are those steps of the exercise...
Get your fucking shit aligned, 2024
Time to make sure we don’t relive the same year out of habit or hellish survival mechanisms gone wild. Let’s look at your ‘ole patterning and see what you really value, chart out behavioral changes, and build self-trust. Steps Roles Trolls Goals...Guilt vs Shame, vs the Ego. Or, “Why our relationships suck.”
OKAY MY MOTHA FUCKS. Months ago in August we spoke about the challenge of apologizing, for real, with the purpose of repairing relational ruptures. And all the ways that our relationships crumble when we don’t do those things. Then in September we discussed the...Gratitude II | Christmas Edition
So around Tgiving we had a shorter episode release discussing the issues with “gratitude” after a long life of childhood and adult trauma. Namely, that we don’t always have the things or circumstances we need in order for our nervous systems to actually be aware...Abuse Acronyms: DARVO and SAPIEN
Helllooooo Fuckers! As part of our “rounding out reasons relationships wreck us” emphasis in 2023, and as a piece of our holiday prep for the forthcoming Nightmares before Christmas. Or whatever you observe. I ALSO thought it would be fitting to release this post. A...
Sex vs. Parts, Programs, and Expectations | Sex on CPTSD pt I
This podcast episode explores the complex relationship between trauma, CPTSD, and sexuality. It discusses how childhood narratives, early experiences, and adult adaptations can create conflicting internal “parts” that influence sexual behavior and attitudes. The episode introduces the concept of examining sexual dysfunction through the lens of Internal Family Systems, encouraging listeners to understand their sexual history and patterns for better integration and healing.
Reflecting on your “cycles” in 2023
Hey Fuckers. I’m just sitting here, eating some eggs, thinking about you all, the past, and the future… and felt inclined to get a jump start on our upcoming 2023 reflection close-out and visioning for 2024. In fact, I realized that it’s going to be a great time...
HOLIDAY TIME: Gratitude II (a better attitude)
There’s plenty to be grateful for this holiday. If you spend time with family, it’ll be right in front of your face. Hail your recovery and Merry Holidays, Motherfucker. ❄️🍻❄️
Shame vs. Guilt
What’s the difference between shame and guilt? And how do they mandate relationship wreckage? As always, Idunno. But here’s one perspective.
Abuse Acronyms to Know: DARVO & SAPIEN
Can’t wrap a year on relationships without talking abuse tactics. Let’s discuss DARVO and SAPIEN – strategies to be mindful of (in others & yourself) this holiday season and beyond.
BONUS ED: Sex on CPTSD pt II
BONUS EDITION: Find extra content in this version. Well hello and welcome to a surprise show, for all of us. The world didn’t end after the last episode, so we’re coming back for another romp. Some feedback from that prior post. (Now that I’m back on the same...
End of Year Extra: Your Cycles
A Fucker loves to “close out the year.” Let’s take a look at the cycles you’ve been through and identify important lessons learned.
Sex on CPTSD pt II
The world didn’t end after the last post and I have more to say. Let’s talk about identifying if your sexual life is healthy and clear some additional points.
3.12a. Transference, Projection, Monkey-barring, Displacement
This podcast episode explores various forms of transference in relationships and mental health, including projection, monkey-barring, and displacement. It discusses how these cognitive patterns can affect interpersonal dynamics and therapy outcomes. The episode emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and critical thinking in recognizing and addressing these patterns for improved emotional intelligence and relationship health.
Sex, parts, programming, and needs
So, Fuckers. We’re “wrapping up” relationships as we round out 2023. Which isn’t really true, because CPTSD is so based IN relationships (the onset and the continued challenges we encounter) that we’ll never be done discussing them. But as for examining what...
Sex, parts, programming, and needs
We’ve talked about intimacy… but not *intimacy.* Diving into sex, let’s talk about childhood and adult programming through parts and need fulfillment strategies ala IFS and NVC… and rewiring sexual imbalances that don’t represent your...
TRANSFERENCE VIDEO!
Been working on an all new experience for you, including animated videos! Let’s talk about Transference in the highest quality vid I’ve done in years. TransferenceProjectionMonkey-barringDisplacementAnd what to do about the Transference Trend in yer...Transcript | Emotional Transference, Displacement, Projection, Monkey-barring
Hey Fuckers! I’m going to talk at you for a minute before we get into the episode. Because I feel like we need to catch up. Because this is one of the few weeks this year I have been caught up – a member of consensus reality who’s operating on the same timeline...
Emotional Transference, Displacement, Projection, and Monkey-barring
“You should do an episode on Transference,” one of y’all said. I resisted, until “Displacement” became a point of fascination. Let’s talk about Transference (Classic) and the other forms (Projection, Monkey-barring,...
AMA “Which emotions correlate with which of my needs?”
You Q’d I A’d. Let’s talk about Transference (Classic) and the other forms (Projection, Monkey-barring, Displacement)…. plus, why they’re ALL dangerous phenom that set everyone up to fail. “How do you know which emotions signal...
“Thanksgetting” what you need | Spanksgiving special
Here we go! Let’s rundown the ways to take care of ourselves (and maybe some need-deprived others) this holiday. Cuz no, it’s not your job to make sure any one else is need-fulfilled. But until they’re shown that they’re allowed to be,...
Gratitude; a t-loaded word | Spanksgiving Special 2023
What happens when “gratitude” loses all meaning? Or even, acquires negative meaning? Let’s talk about why this holiday can be especially triggering, as forced “thankfulness” becomes a signal for self-abandonment.
Self-abandonment vs your best Spanksgiving | Surprise Spanksgiving Special
Let’s cut the brainy shit, the real answer to surviving the holidays is not abandoning yourself.
Revitalized Discussion Fawning X Unmet Needs
In 2021 the word of the year was Fawning. Today, let’s revisit those discussions while layering on our needs-deprivation conversation as we continue to prepare ourselves for the holidays.
BONUS: MY tips for t-communicating
What can this Fucker say about communicating on t-brains? Got plenty of lessons in reactivity to share. And yes, turns out “there are some adults who still need to hear this”
10b. How-TO Prepare to Respond Effectively
Responding to vulnerable disclosures can be as hard as issuing them. Let’s talk about how to set yourself up for responsive success, keeping trauma-brain fuckshittery in mind.
10a. Rationale: How-TO Respond Effectively
Wonky episode format and scheduling coming up! But here’s why. Let’s get into discussing the “How-TOs” of responding, now that we’ve told you what NOT to do.
11. How-TO Respond Effectively
What are the steps to effective responding that take massive pressure off your every word? Let’s talk about the keys to success, which open up room for less stressful communication to progress afterwards.
AMA! “What IS my bullshit?”
Got back from a windy hike this morning and decided to answer an email via video for you Fuckers. Lez talk about the difference between “human bullshit” (AKA the bullshit crust) and “lower level survival reactions.” Happy...
3.11. Ten Destructive Responses that Set Off Trauma Defenses
This podcast episode explores ten destructive responses to avoid in sensitive conversations, based on NonViolent Communication principles. It discusses why people use these responses and their impact on relationships. The episode provides insights into improving communication skills, especially during stressful holiday interactions with family. It emphasizes the importance of empathy, active listening, and self-awareness in fostering healthier interpersonal dynamics.
9. DAMAGING Responses to Vulnerable Conversation: Examples 6-10
Back to it! Here are the next 5 ways we commonly respond to others which shuts down discussion, fosters misunderstanding, and breeds contempt, according to the NVC experts.
Transcript 8. DAMAGING Responses to Vulnerable Conversation: Examples 1-5
Hey Fuckers! We’re here, to get back into the communication aspects of NVC. We’ve been on a bit of a journey together in the past few months. Episodes 1-3 of this series were on the 4-step process of Nonviolent Communication. The specific approaches and...
8. DAMAGING Responses to Vulnerable Conversation: Examples 1-5
What shuts down effective communication efforts? Well, we’ve got 10 “unrecommended” responses for you. We’ll talk about WHY people use them, what they convey, how they impact the relationship forever, how to de-program them from yourself, and how to course-correct the...
3.10. Chronic deprivation, self-sabotage, psychosomatic illness, and abuse dynamics
This podcast episode explores the concept of chronic self-deprivation and its roots in childhood neglect. It discusses how unrecognized personal needs can lead to self-sabotage, psychosomatic illness, and codependency. The episode offers insights into breaking these patterns by identifying and fulfilling a comprehensive range of human needs, emphasizing the importance of self-care in trauma recovery and personal growth.
NVC shame, parts, and major points with Shelby | MFs Speak!
Today let’s take a relcalibration break to hear the other major points hidden in NonViolent Communication. Straight from the person who introduced me to NVC.
*NEW* BONUS – Building Community – Reflection Qs From NVC Ep 7
Trying a new thing! Leading your reflections and opening space for new community building! ~~ Get your Reflection Qs from the NVC #7 Workbook, in audio form ~~ Hear me clarify, expand, and rephrase questions. Helping you to get the most out of your trauma archeology...
Self-sabotage and your needs
If we deprive ourselves long enough? The SUB-C starts looking for new means of getting our needs met. Let’s whiteboard about it.
BONUS – Identify your hidden vs. over-emphasized needs
If we’re masters at masking our own needs so recovery becomes impossible… how can we start to figure out the ways we’re depriving ourselves?
Concept Introduction: Coercion, control tactics, abuse programming, and family need enmeshment
How do deprived and “unallowed” needs connect with our accrual of CPTSD and abuse-acceptance? Let’s talk about our FOO’s coercive control tactics for ~13 minutes.
7. Self-sabotage and psychosomatic illness V. your SUBC shittery | Important Workbook!
Notes: We have rigid rules about what needs are “allowed” for us in normal circumstances. Those rules often create webs of mandatory needs related to the original over-satiated needs. i.e. rigidly over-exercising -> medical needs, nutritional needs,...
Clarification! Conscious vs Subconscious Need Fulfillling Behaviors
Just a quick point to drive home several times over. No, you’re not CHOOSING self-destruction. Check “Nobody should believe me” wherever you podcast.
7. Deprived Needs, the SUB-C, Self-sabotage and Psychosomatic Illness
So we love to deprive ourselves “for goodness” – but what happens when your subconscious has enough? Today, talking about ways our SUB-C connives against us, creating extraordinary circumstances that allow us to fulfill our “unallowed...
Mini BONUS | Self-abuse Words, NVC, and IFS
So we just finished looking at precise & accurate emotions… ARE there any instances in which “false, projected feelings” are valid? Can self-abuse words be helpful? And how does that concept connect with our parts work ala IFS?
BONUS Breaking the spell of feeling “neglected, ignored, and rejected” – Naming your real feelings and needs
The title says it all? We learned that “projected, false, judgmental” emotional words are a big part of our vocabularies that holds us back. So, let’s redefine those words and pull meaning from them. What are we REALLY trying to say and how can we...