“Can they tell I’m traumatized?”
Have you ever felt like people could “sense” your history? As our MF Sarah reported in her recording, it seemed like her abuser could tell she was from the right background to be predisposed for his controlling antics. And we hear that a lot around this...
Excerpt: “Are they BPD/NPD?” from Stop Walking on Eggshells
Hey Fuckers, Just wanted to pass this along as we start to wrap up the “here’s how abusive patterns sneakily persist” series! (Seriously, can we stop talking about these downer topics, already. JFC) It’s from a book called, clearly, Stop...
Cognitive-Emotional Signs of Abusive Relationships
Hey, it’s that second video I owed you from this series – the garbally audio vids that needed to be re-re-recorded. (Sorry again about the woodland internet failure) Here ya go! Talking ways to spot possible psychonoxious relationships in YOUR...
Brains Primed for Accepting Abuse
Try number… two? Five? Let me know if there are still errors in this program! NOTE: downloadable link included at the bottom of this post, if the hyperlink doesn’t work! Let’s video-discuss the brain games that keep us entering and sustaining abusive...
Just a forest share
Seems like I’m going to be moving *more* indoors soon, so I’d share a bit of fall beauty while it’s still at my fingertips. Look at this tree shroom I found high above my head yesterday on a nice bed of moss. Pretty squeezable, must show...
So, the limitations of camp-living and making videos…
Hey all! Sorry to hear that the videos I threw at you this past weekend seem to have uploaded strangely / not at all. Thank you very much for letting me know this was happening! I’m going to guess my hotspot was to blame. I’ll be working on...
One Hundred and Ninety Nine Fuckers in a Fort… 100 and 99 Fuckers…
As some human who one day started doing, *looks around,* this… That’s fucking wild. If you ever doubt if your voice matters, I mean…. I’m nobody… And look what talking can do. So. Who’s going to be number 200 to squeeze...
6.5 Spot Cyclical Abuse Patterns
Let’s talk about pinpointing the trends in our romantic lives, by using our internal monitoring systems to notice the patterns IN US that have carried through multiple relationships. Talking energetic, emotional, cognitive, and behavioral shifts… as well as...
WELCOME! Name your recovery stage!
Welcome Newfuckers! We’re so glad to have you! Feel free to say hey and introduce yourself! Just wondering, where we at in our recovery journeys? 107 votes total
Monthly Ask Me Anything!
Don’t forget! The new tiers include Ask Me Anything benefits! If you’re throwing $20 a month or higher (or, a solid meal – thank you!) at me, throw down in the “group pool,” where I’ll select several questions to answer in a...
Sorry to miss your message
Hey MFs! I just need to say – I’m so sorry I’m still behind getting back to you all! I’m right on the edge of being caught up with things, but I just need a few more days of concentration to keep this self on the right track. ...
6.2 Application | Re-ssociate. Re-find Your “Self” and Reclaim Your Life.
So you forgot you exist in your own life, huh? Maybe you’ve been numb for a minute. Maybe your crutches have become wheels. How do you break out of the mental/emotional disconnection and restart your will to live – for your self. I got tips. You know the...
Homelessness > Abuse | When Your Self Says “No More.”
Life calls. So, let’s talk a personally-based mashup of dissociation under abuse, depersonalization, and being driven to make big changes when the “loss of self” becomes indisputable, the anger aligns, and your dog’s life is the final...
✭ 5.40 Personal | No Contact 2021 And Always Hail Archie
In this deeply personal episode, we explore the complex emotions surrounding pet loss, family trauma, and the journey towards personal freedom. The speaker shares their experience of losing their beloved dog Archie to a severe neurological condition, while simultaneously breaking free from a toxic family environment. This raw and honest account highlights the challenges of setting boundaries with narcissistic family members and the transformative power of choosing one’s own path, even when it means embracing unconventional living arrangements. The episode offers insights into the healing process of trauma survivors and the importance of self-discovery in the face of adversity.
Archie Floppy Pup Celebration of Life Update
Been traveling the upper Midwest, on palliative care / seeking cool weather for a fluffy pup / “if this ship is sinking, we might a well have a parade” hiatus with my best friend Archie for about a week. For anyone who’s been following...
5.38 “Expectations” supplement. Buy the right car in the first place.
Mushbrain makes words hard. Let’s just rap for another minute or 20 about relationships, standards, expectations… and do a mini exercise.
Noticing anything in your relationships lately?
Shout it out! Anything you’ve been seeing all of a sudden? Select all that apply! 218 votes total
5.37 Shit Relationships Part I
So we allllll wonder, “Why do I end up with people who abuse me and relationships that sink me?” Answer: How long’ve you got for this discussion? Well, as relationally traumatized fuckers, this is the focus of the show for the foreseeable...
✭ 5.36 Personal | Emotional Archie Update
In this deeply personal update, we explore the complex emotions surrounding a pet’s terminal illness and the difficult decisions that come with it. The speaker shares their experience of receiving devastating news about their dog Archie’s brain abnormalities and the subsequent struggle with end-of-life care decisions. This raw account highlights the transformative power of unconditional love, the importance of perspective in challenging times, and the potential for personal growth through grief. The episode also touches on the impact of toxic family environments and the need for self-care during emotionally taxing periods. Through this experience, we see how facing loss can lead to profound self-discovery and a reevaluation of life’s priorities.
5.35 Workbook | Find yer Trauma-Self
Who’s ready to pinpoint their trauma-self narratives and start calling themselves out? Yeah, no one. I know. It’s not a fun week.
Full Research Ep | Trauma-Self
Time to have a rough talk. Ever meet someone who seemed strangely “rooted” in their trauma, from a personally obstinate place? As in, they don’t seem to WANT to believe that they can feel better, live better, expect better? Ever feel like… you...
SHIT WEEK
So needless to say, I won’t be getting a post out by my normal Wednesday deadline. If you haven’t been following the Archie drama on social media, well, it’s a bad time. We’re either dealing with micro-seizures or some sort of wild...
Help a four-legged TMFR?
My little man isn’t doing so hot. Suspect that we’re in the middle of a newfound seizure streak, which means there’s a HUGE challenge in Archie’s life…. Finding out if we have treatment options in combination with his cerebellar...
5.32 Workbook | Fuck Fawning
Surprise! Normally these Exercise episodes live in the Recoverer and REAL MF tiers – but this one is available ONLY in the private Patreon RSS feed at the $5 Level, too! Seems like an important one. To set up your private RSS feed and git this shit, just...
Fawn-anonymous
So, how many of us are feeling like Fawning might be a bigger trauma-trend in our lives than we noticed before? In the comments, let us know what ways you find yourself thrown into “social survival fear mode!” What sets it off? Certain relationships,...
✭✭ 5.31 Full Extended Version | Fawning, Enmeshment, Relational Triggers (What is CPTSD, Alex)
This episode delves into the complex world of fawning, enmeshment, and relational trauma. We explore how early childhood experiences shape our tendency to prioritize others’ needs over our own, leading to codependent relationships and a loss of personal identity. The discussion highlights the importance of recognizing fawning behaviors, setting healthy boundaries, and developing autonomy in relationships. By understanding these patterns, individuals can begin to break free from people-pleasing tendencies and cultivate more balanced, fulfilling relationships. The journey towards recovery involves challenging deeply ingrained beliefs and behaviors, but it’s a crucial step in reclaiming one’s sense of self and improving overall mental health.
5.30 Supplement: What’s Fawning?
Before we dive into a loooong episode on enmeshment, codependency, boundaries, and the ways that we’re brain-patterned not to understand any of the above… let’s talk about one of the big portions of the discussion that often gets overlooked. What the...
Updates from the Blanket Fort Discord!
Hey Friends! Just wanted to hop in and give you the Blanket Fort Discord*** Updates of the week! Don’t forget to check out the WEDNESDAY DISCUSSION! This week, we’re talking Boundaries and Community Support! 🍻 We just added the GOOD VIBES...
5.29 Guest Host | Monsters in the Shadows
Who’s ready to hear about some radical self-exploration and acceptance? This MF is an incredible example of noticing, naming, and releasing the patterns in ourselves that we’re not the happiest about. The things that dear old dad taught us, in a lot of...
NEW! Wednesday Discord Discussions!
Ready to meetup on a central day in the TMFR community? Welcome to your new weekly Wednesday escape from hell. We’re meeting up in the Patreon-only Discord all day long, rapping about timely trauma topics that YOU suggest! Join the community threads,...
Characterize the past few weeks of your inner (and outer) experience?
Let’s shout it out. How’re YOU doing? Tell us how you’re managing/making the best of it/moving forward in the comments! 72 votes total
5.28 Guest Post | Fawning & Social Triggers
Relational trauma has been a doozy lately, amiright? Yep, well wait until your new MF friend spits about her recent experience with a mutual-CPTSD friendship. Because oh boy, I think the recent dive into “human relations” has been a lot for everyone. When...
✭✭✭ 5.26 Early Release! YOU v. BRAIN v. PROGRAMMING pt II
Understanding the intricate workings of neural networks can be a powerful tool in trauma recovery. This episode explores how our brains create and maintain neural connections, often leading to unhelpful thought patterns and responses. By visualizing these networks as branching trees, we can better comprehend how trauma affects our thinking and behavior. The concept of neural network overlaps and compartmentalization helps explain many common trauma symptoms. Recognizing the distinction between our conscious selves and our brain’s automatic programming allows for greater agency in healing. This perspective offers hope for rewiring trauma responses and creating healthier neural pathways.
5.24 Guest Host | Trauma Tools for Other Hurdles
Who needs a little help processing from time to time? (raises hand) Let’s hear how a fellow Fucker deals. Thanks for your share Leanne!
5.23 Your Stories | Grace; Narc Parents, Quests for Love, and Reconsidering Life
I don’t want to butcher this story. Just tune in and hear the story of this amazing MF finding her way through the world, through love, and through fawning behavior to all. And then… wondering if any of it was what she really wanted. TBD MFs. HBU? Gotta...
YOOO! Who hasn’t gotten any merch yet?
There are a ton of newbies since the merch giveaway onslaught that pretty much left all of the early on-boarders fully saturated with shit. So… how about some new rounds for the new guys?! I miss playing fucked up santa. So, tell me about your...
5.22 AMA | Going NC/LC, Managing Brain Overload, and “Aged” Personality Parts
It’s the June AMA! Finally, AIFR? Whatta month. Today, answering questions about going Limited- and No- Contact with Narcissists, how to handle massive life changes that comes with massive shutdowns, and how some of our personality “parts” might...
5.21 Bonus Nug | Reddit Post: “Mirroring Narcissist Parents”
Oh man, say what you will about Narcissist Parents on Reddit, but this thread has it ALL. Everything we’ve been talking about this spring, from recognition of narc parents and personal narc habits, their common traits, and neural reprogramming through the power...
5.20 Workbook | Family Brain Hijinks
Hey, who wants a new benefit? Well you’re FUCKING GETTING ONE, like it or not. Education is one thing, but seeing how all of this research ACTUALLY fits into your life is brain changing, clarifying, and self-hate relieving. Welcome to the newest shit I’m...
✭✭✭✭ 5.19 Family Brain Hijinks (Pt III of Brain Patterning Series)
This episode explores the intricate relationship between family dynamics, neural networks, and generational trauma. It delves into how early childhood experiences shape our brain patterns and influence our adult relationships. The discussion covers mental abuse tactics, the challenges of maintaining boundaries with toxic family members, and the potential benefits of limiting or cutting contact. Understanding these mechanisms can help individuals recognize unhealthy patterns and make informed decisions about their family relationships in the context of trauma recovery.
✭✭✭✭✭ 5.18 Early Release! Connection Addicts: Explaining Toxic Relationships
This episode explores the neurobiology of human connection, focusing on mirror neurons, emotional contagion, and synchrony. It delves into how early childhood experiences shape our brain patterns and affect our relationships throughout life. The discussion highlights the biological drive for connection and its potential pitfalls for trauma survivors. By understanding these mechanisms, individuals can gain insight into their relationship patterns and the importance of boundaries. This knowledge can be a powerful tool in trauma recovery and personal growth.
✭✭✭✭✭ 5.17 Lifelong Neurological Effects of Early Parental Relationships
This episode explores the profound impact of early parental relationships on neurobiological development and lifelong attachment patterns. Drawing from neuroscience research, it examines how parenting styles, particularly emotionally dysregulated and narcissistic approaches, can lead to dissociation and altered brain development in children. The discussion delves into the cellular biology of relational trauma and its long-term consequences on emotional regulation and stress responses. Understanding these mechanisms can provide valuable insights for trauma recovery and breaking generational cycles of emotional neglect.
Just saying… Welcome, Motherfuckers.
New Patreons?! Damn! Been meaning to say “hey” without seeming too thirsty… you know? Buttfuckit this is overwhelming. Introductions aside, I just wanted to give a quick unsolicited recommendation (in case you didn’t get enough of those about...
Do you have a Narc Parent?
Grandiose or Vulnerable – all varieties count! Just curious… how many of us? Answer anytime. Tomorrow or ten years from now, tell us what you’ve seen. Comment if ya want. Tell us how many narcs fruited your family tree… and...
Merch Bombs Away!!!
Yoooo…. The Merch Giveaways went OUT! I forgot to holler. And with how shitty our mail service got… I mean… I’ve still probably time left to tell you. Anyways, I flooded the fucking post office box and I’m really hoping...
5.15 Vulnera-Bit | Trimming the Family Tree for Re-Programming Relationship Pitfalls
You know what sucks? Our families. But, specifically, the ways that their brains have impacted ours – all the way down to the ways we try (and fail) to have stable relationships. Today, taking a venting approach to examining the fucked up trauma brain procedures...
5.14 Vulnera-Bit | It’s a Vulnerable Narc Update!
It’s a spicy one. Hey, been a while since we really rapped. Fuckit, I’ve finally got words for some of these springtime parenting experiences… there’s my Narc educational reflections, first of all. Then, the past two months of rollercoaster...
As we consider why sex is hard after trauma, let’s also consider…
This. You know what doesn’t help with the not-dissociating during intimacy? When we’re being treated like a human seen on a computer, not a human. I mean, read this reddit thread – I’m crying with laughter. But it’s this sort...