Bonus Nug | Astrology and Dominant Neural Networks
Just a quick bit that I thought some of you might appreciate… wanna talk about some dominant parts? You might meet yours more easily if you get even mildly acquainted with the stars. Pisces | Aquarius | Leo
✭✭✭✭✭ 5.12 Implications and Life-Declusterfucking Applications of Fragmented Personalities
This episode explores the concept of neural networks and their role in trauma recovery. It delves into how fragmented personality parts develop and can be integrated, offering insights into memory processing and emotional regulation. The discussion provides practical techniques for self-directed trauma recovery, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness and intentional neural network activation. By understanding these concepts, individuals can gain more control over their healing process and work towards integrating their fragmented selves.
Just a strong podcast episode recommendation – not my own.
I know, I’ve talked about Duncan Trussell before. Love his show. But he’s weird. That being said, you would benefit from hearing some of the episodes. And the one I’m listening to right now is VERY much about the evolutionary and psychological...
Is that… 101 Motherfuckers?
Well that raises the question my parts are all asking… Da Fuck? Is this a glitch in the simulation, or finally my psychotic break? Because, you guys (non-gendered), can I take a self-absorbed dive for just one second, and remind all of us...
How’d you find YOUR first personality “part”?
We talked about spotting signs of dissociative identity on the show today. I’ll be talking about my first personality part discovery on Friday. Hey, Fucker, what’ve you got to say about yours? Can’t wait to meet “you...
✭✭✭✭✭ 5.9 Fragmented Personalities; Common Presentations (Your Life Destruction, Explained)
This episode explores the concept of fragmented personalities in trauma survivors, based on Janina Fisher’s work. It delves into the common signs of dissociative disorders, their impact on daily life, and how they manifest in therapy. The discussion covers nervous system reactions, implicit memories, and the challenges of treating fragmented selves. Understanding these complex psychological mechanisms can help trauma survivors recognize their symptoms and seek appropriate treatment. The episode emphasizes the importance of integrating past experiences with present awareness for effective recovery.
Motherfucking Book Club – Healing the Fragmented Selves by Janina Fisher
It’s the first MF Book Club Meeting! We’ve been talking about it, inside and out. I recommend you give this thing a listen (audiobooks are a MF’s best friend) on your own time. ...
BLESS THIS MESS (How’s your CHURCH this morning?)
HEY FUCKERS! How’s your Sunday practice going? Doing anything special to unwind/reintegrate this morning? Have any reflections to share from the past week? Concerns about the coming one? Let’s reconnect our narrative and visceral memory banks,...
5.8 BS | Neurological Basis of Fragmented Personalities (Your Trauma Life = Survival Neural Networks)
Early Release for my Fuckers! It’s the Bite Sized summary of the full episode! Ready for you to digest in one sitting. So we know how trauma works – but how does it impact our brain structures to elicit semi-rigid trauma reactions that are intricate enough...
5.6 Bonus Nug | Impressing Her, not Mysel(ves)
Sometimes it’s the simple thoughts that change your approach to torturing yourself for someone else. Talking life on CovNarc expectation and never being satisfied living for someone else.
5.5 Bonus Nug | The Fallacy of “doing our best”
Uh. Am I tho? Let’s take another look at what that phrase really means.
Bonus | 5.3 “Boundaries” – Reexamining Our Trauma Trap
What do trauma survivors commonly fuck up? Our understanding, appreciation, and acceptance of boundaries. Today, we’re coming at you with the original Motherfucking recording spirit… unscripted, imperfect and honest talk from my natural trauma recovery...
Who’s ready for bonus episodes?! The downpour just started.
And I’m only partially referencing my surprise shower in the woods this morning, after recording a new episode for you Fuckers that took me a little too far away from the parking lot. Buttfuckit, avoidance running is the only time I’m committed to the...
Bonus Nug | 5.2 Considering Self over Fawning, Perfectionism, and Hypervigilance
Laying the ground for what’s to come…. a lot of extra content from a better environment and mindset. Worse audio. But who ever said this thing was about being perfect? Get ready for more imperfect bonus material, along with plenty of the professional audio...
5.1 Welcome to the Fort! | Reintegrating Neural Networks [AKA – Fragmented Personalities]
Welp. You made it – both the decision and the effort to be here! Welcome to the trauma fort and I hope you’re comfortable. You know… I haven’t been. And it’s made me dissociate into a very limited version of my full brain capacity. One...
Do you have a morning routine?
Do anything special to kick off your day? What’s the purpose? What impact does it have? And what happens when you skip it like an asshole? 52 votes total
Fragmented Fuckers
Wondering… Do YOU consider yourself to have multiple personalities / personality parts? 42 votes total
4.18 “Revert to Draft” | CPTSD Romantic Relationship Downfalls, Pt II
Coming back to talk about how my early life continues to shape the things I expect from romantic partners. Something tells me, I’m not the only one. Being hungry for attention, mistaking boundary dismissals for signs of love, mistrusting myself, and giving up...
4.17 “Revert to Draft” | Early signs of narcissism?
March 15th, 2021 Narcissists and emotional abusers… a problem we all seem to have. What if there were early-recognition tactics for spotting dangerous partners before it’s too late (i.e. trauma bond), besides the convoluted term “love bombing?”...
4.16 “Revert to Draft” | Why do we attract abusers?
March 2021 You might not like the answer, but it’s because both parties are comfortably willing. Because we try to form romantic lives based on early CPTSD lessons that set us up for disaster down the road. We have no boundaries, we mistake possession for love,...
No Control!
Haven’t done this in a while… have an entry from my journal! 1/25/2021 Not sure what to say, but I felt more like me today than in a while. Lighter, more “into” the world around me. Kind of hopeful. Just, content with being. Why? No...
Distress Tracking and ABA
Look who finally got around to posting these worksheets from the Data-driven Recovery series! Way to go, self! Use these sheets as a template (or idea kick-starter) for your own distress tracking and behavioral analysis. Figure out when you feel like what and...
Preview: Why time matters (relationships)
Here comes your next podcast preview! Coming up soon: Why time autonomy is critical for trauma recovery… as it relates to work (one episode) and relationships (second episode). Take a look at my draft and let me know if there’s any area to improve/alter!...
The “why” in my relationship rumination
Taking another look at rumination. So I recently talked about how rumination and PTSD interplay. Shockingly, it turns out that rumination is a predictor – a possible pre-existing condition – to post-traumatic symptom development. Which, again, has boggled...
Where anxiety and depression collide… I get totally railed.
Hey friends. Long time no talk. I want to say “I’m sorry” for not putting out more personal posts lately, but I’m also trying to break myself of the habit of perpetually apologizing. So…. “Deal with it”? Just kidding....
3.33 “Revert to Draft” | Angry atheist to Woo-wonderer; Belief & C-PTSD recovery
Originally published July 2020, see those episodes for similar vibes. Sometimes I slip up and mention things relating to my personal belief system… honestly, I feel a bit embarrassed by it and I don’t want to push it on anyone. I try to keep my mouth...
✭✭ 3.32 “Purpose” and Trauma Healing
December 9th, 2020 TW – it’s another dead dad episode. Ever wonder why Motherfuckers who learn to deal with their PTSD also seem to have a sense of spirituality and self-direction? It’s not an accident. Today, we’re talking about the function...Receiving information I didn’t ask for or need…
You know, if I’m being honest… and I always am… I’m having a bit of a shit day. Nothing has happened, to be clear. I woke up at my boo’s place, we had an average morning, aside from Archie peeing about 3 feet too early as I carried him out. Sat around while I wrote...
3.21 Annnnd I no longer trust myself to be in any relationship
So, it’s been a rough relationship past. Now… is it possible to make good decisions? Or am I headed down a narc spiral again?
Anti-self behaviors
Shoutout to Tina. Posting this as an early release on Patreon, in case it helps.Welcome, Patron Fuckers!
So, uh, I guess now that I have patrons in my Patreon, I have to deliver on the extra personal posts, huh? Alright, time to get a bit self-indulgent. Well, I guess that first I just want to say, welcome and thanks for being here! I can’t verbalize how crazy it is...
3.16 Dismissed Boundaries
This is a venting experiment. Airing some dirty, guilty laundry about men, romantic relationships, attraction, and “I’m not interested,” in a way that I think other MFs will understand.
Dismissed Boundaries, the Post
More into the podcast game? Sweet, same. Find us wherever you listen. Just search Complex Trauma; We are Traumatized Motherfuckers on your podcast app of choice! An immediate test in “Learning to enjoy letting go of people you love.” You know...
2.15 “Revert to Draft” | Two months in my childhood home
August 15th, 2020 “You can come home,” my mom has {usually} said. “I would rather die,” I’ve always replied. So, it’s been two months of living with my mom. AKA my worst nightmare come true! Normally, I’m knee deep in suicidal...
1.22 “Revert to Draft” | Brain Overload; Trauma or just busted?
July 15th 2020 Am I the only Motherfucker who suffers from chronic brain overwhelm and thought disorganization? It feels like info and events from my life flutter around this brain box like a swirling ticker tape parade. And MF, it really doesn’t take much for...
1.21 “Revert to Draft” | The Other Shoe; Enjoy it today, bleed tomorrow
I’m not one of those people who can… enjoy things. What is “fun,” and do other people have it? If I’m having a pleasant experience, my brain wants to end it before it’s “too late.” (i.e. before the world sends shitty...
1.20 “Revert to Draft” | Workaholics (Hypervigilance) Anon
I’m one rigid bitch. Maybe not in my beliefs or judgements of others… but shit, I can’t handle my own self. My days? Wake up, work out, werk werk werk until these eyes are ready to BLEED, promise I’m going to do better tomorrow, rinse and repeat. I never...
1.18 “Revert to Draft” | Ironic followup; Saying goodbye… Also, git fucked.
July 10th 2020 Remember that post a few hours ago, “Enjoy saying goodbye to people you love”? How about an immediate update on putting it into practice? Hilarious, universe. I’m here for it. I’m talking real shit that’s happened in my...
✭ 1.17 “Revert to Draft” | Learn to enjoy saying goodbye to people you love
July 8th, 2020 Learn to say goodbye to people you love. “Yeah fucking right?” Fair. But there are times when I can believe it. Relationships have always been the most important part of my life; for worse or for… still worse. You know,...
1.13 “Revert to Draft” | LIVE | Leaning into dark emotions; Getting honest about my lost relationship
June 24th 2020 So… for months I’ve been doing well, spitting optimism, and riding highs. But this hasn’t been totally honest with myself. There’s been something bubbling under the surface that I haven’t wanted to deal with. I...
1.9 “Revert to Draft” | Blog | Turn universal human fears into comforts
What happens when you’ve lost it all? You’ve got nothing left to lose, motherfucker. After your worst possible worries come true, it gives you a new perspective on what’s coming next. Or, at least it did in this MF’s case. This is a...
1.6 “Revert to Draft” | Origins of a Motherfucker, Part 4. An abusive relationship and a new purpose.
Lessons; one year after leaving my abusive relationship and losing it all. I’m talking self-shame, inner critics, and forgiveness in the wake of another abusive circumstance. This is part 4 of my origin story; where I’ve been, what I’ve conquered, and how I...
✭ 1.5 “Revert to Draft” | Blog | Intro to stress, inflammation, and autoimmune disease. My origin story: Part 3.
This is the story of an overachiever lifestyle and decades of unmanaged childhood trauma resulting in autoimmune breakdown and mysterious illness in my early 20’s. Part 3 of my personal origin story and my introduction to Trauma. There’s a lot more to say about...
1.4 The father, the son, and the financial ruin: Part 2 of my Intro to C-PTSD
What are the origins of my childhood trauma story? Where did this Trauma Project start? Buckle up, Motherfuckers. Learn – briefly and sensitively – about my personal trauma story as I continue recording through my original blog posts. The intention? Not to...
1.2 Tales from early recovery
Relocated from original publishing date S3.E17 for story introduction. Did you know that I used to be 1) terrified of driving 2) terrified of humans and 3) terrified of leaving the house? Yep, for a few years this MF was fully-agoraphobic. Today, I’m...
✭✭✭✭ BONUS 0.0 “Revert to Draft” | Before TMFRs; Your Recovery Trek
This episode uses a hiking metaphor to describe the journey of trauma recovery, from rock bottom to a place of resilience and self-awareness. It outlines various stages of the recovery process, including overcoming depression, identifying problems, gaining perspective, and moving forward. The discussion emphasizes the importance of self-reflection, journaling, and connecting with nature as tools for healing. While acknowledging the challenges, the episode highlights the potential for personal growth and increased self-understanding through the recovery journey.