self-Love pt 5: Practicuum BEGINS | Being with Your self Without Destructing
Onto the behavioral change! Your mission: engaging in new actions that allow you to see, feel, and hear your self. Settle in and breathe deep, it’s a peaceful and lovely episode for self-connection. Suggested sister series: Data Driven Behavioral Change 2021...
Actual self-love pt 4.5: Victimhood vs. self-Compassion
Following up on last episode: When are we softening towards ourselves in compassion… vs. self-victimizing? There’s a simple way to know. Transcript: Hey, fuckers. Welcome, and let’s jump into part 4.5 of this series, “What Would It Actually...
Pub Pod! 4.9 Obstacles to Actual self-Love After Trauma
It’s the public summary of our work from the past month! The filthiest words: love yourself. 🤮 Why does trauma create barriers between us and… not hating us? Talkin’ lost relationships, criteria for love, loss of self, and the endless self scrutiny...
self-Love Pt 4: Fear of Sad & Dismissal of self
How do you feel about sadness? When judgments of being victimy and “fear of sad” prevail, we lose half our lives to avoidance. .. stranding us alone in our grief, with less than self-loving conditions. Transcript: Greetings, fuckers! We are back, and back...
self-Love pt 3: These pussyasswords and the stabbing requirement for self-acceptance
Eye-roll-worthy words + the most painful work = “why tf are we doing this?” Disband your self, and you’ll find out you have no “target” to love, Fucker. Let’s put that self back together so your emotions and experiences can exist....
self-Love pt 2.5 | Obstacles: self-Love Unallowance
What’re ya holding against yourself? Perhaps..memory of the last time you tempted fate with one audacious act… It’s time for some cognitive psychology education and reprogramming! Transcript: Hey, fuckers. Thanks for being here. Thanks for...
Actual self-Love pt 2 | Obstacles cont’d: The Aftermath, self-Blame, Parts Wars, and self-grudgery
What else stands in the way of self love? Post-traumatic self-judgment and polarized versions of self. Let’s talk about releasing yourself from the prison of your own judgment and self-fulfilling prophecies by applying self-compassion (remember our techniques...
“Doing inner work” & How-to do it effectively with media
What IS the inner work? What’s the end goal? How do we do it effectively alongside media? Let’s talk about trauma archeology and perspective work. Transcript: Hey there, friends and fuckers, and welcome to another Back to Basics episode where we’re...
Work x CPTSD Continues! “Your Boss Might Be Gaslighting You And It’s Destroying Your Career”
Can’t even keep up with posting these abusive work articles recently! Like this one and this one. Further evidence that traumatic hierarchies define our careers – a big reason why so many CPTSD sufferers struggle with traditional work. Here’s the...
What is the “self”?
Trauma leaves us without a stable sense of self… and if that’s the CPTSD symptom you’ve struggled to comprehend the most, don’t worry! Psychology agrees, it’s poorly defined and understood. Article: Psychology Takes a New Look at the...
trauma brain & the good news paradox
Positive event… Negative reaction. WTTMF? Talkin the rollercoaster of hope, self-sabotage, superstition, narrative and identity disruption in brains built on trauma. Transcript: Hey there, fuckers! Today we are here for another Back to Basics episode talking about...
Video+Transcript! No BS. How NOT to fuck your self up with the self-defense series
“I fucked up and I’m sorry.” Let’s talk about how NOT to use the self-defense episodes – which I fear I may have been encouraging in all of you. Talking the pitfalls of trying to “rid oneself of BS self-defenses” when earth...
Actual self-Love pt I: Qualifying Obstacles
What stands in the way of self-love? We discuss relational barriers from the past and criteria you might be holding against yourself. Heads up, it’s a “weeks-years of reflection” sortof episode. Transcript: Hey there, friends and fuckers. We are here...
“Worker rescued after allegedly left stranded on Colorado mountain by colleagues.” What did we recently say about work families?
Just a quick “lol but not” on this one! The story below made me think of this recent post from TMFRs. “How to deal with Mind Games in the Workplace” – Reminder: CPTSD primes us for abusive work experiences that ‘feel like home’ NEWS: Office retreat gone...
“Why can’t I show joy to others?”
The danger of showing appreciation? It’s disempowering according to the past. Let’s talk about reasons and solutions. Transcript: Hey, fuckers. Thanks for tuning in. I’ve got a little follow-up and a listener question to address per the asceticism...
Pub Pod 4.8 Self Compassion; the Daily Battle for Recovery
Education and Responsibility are important for t-recovery… But progress peters when self-punishment predominates. Without self-compassion, regression becomes reality. Let’s talk about the requirement for self-compassion and 5 ways to do it. Download the slides...
Personal: Family Patterning & Deprivation Default Mode
Trauma Thoughts | Identifying and Deprogramming Cognitive Bullshit
“whoops that’s a trauma thought.” -all of us. Logical fallacies, overgeneralizations, B&W rulings, toxic positivity; these are brains on t-bullshit. Transcript: Greetings and welcome, fuckers. We’re here for another Back to Basics episode...
Self Compassion vs. Asceticism: Joyless Living as self-Defense
Living in misery because it feels safer that way? Yeah, it’s a trauma problem. Let’s talk about deprivation as defense, and reframing those trauma thoughts. Transcript: Yaaaaa fuckers! We are here today to talk about kind of a crossover topic between...
Required: self-Compassion for Post-traumatic Growth in CPTSD Recovery
If there’s one thing I regret in the making of TMFRs and my own recovery effort… It’s the self-scrutinizing approach which eventually eclipsed the original recovery measure that enabled any of this project and progress: Self-compassion. Don’t...
The War of self-Compassion (CPTSD Recovery)
A pitfall in recovery; self-compassion is replaced by self-work, which puts us back in a traumatized mindspace. Compassion is critical to heal. Will you take up the brave challenge? Transcript: Motherfuckers! We are here this week with an assortment of posts to offer...
Joyfully risk-taking, fucking up, and healing trauma
Followup post! Fucking up isn’t shameful, it’s required for healing..A joyful approach to risk-taking and mistake-making enables post-traumatic growth. How can you reframe the danger of mistakes and celebrate your FUs, proudly? Transcript: Fuckers! Hey...
Avoiding & Compassionately Rectifying “Abuse Supporting Stupidity”
Followup post! How can we combat the brain’s tendency to willfully protect itself while maintaining a self-compassionate view on our behaviors? Transcript: Hey, fuckers. I wanted to come back with a little follow up on a bit of a ragtag post that I put out a few...
SUBC Shame Followup: Psych & Neurobio: Your brain vs. imagined realities
“I didn’t think that would work but it did.” Followup that shame ‘sode. Today lez talk about WHY leaning into your worst fears works via psychology and neurobiology. Transcript: Hey motherfuckers, today I wanted to come back and touch upon some...
REPOST: CPTSD relationship dynamics, explained
Thought I’d share a video with all tiers!
Let’s see “Relationships” in a visual format and understand our relationship templates that create the same dynamics over and over again… Thanks, Behavioral Science!
“My partner has CPTSD, how do I convince them to seek treatment?”
A common question, answered. But if you’re new to CPTSD learnin, it might make ya mad. (sorry). Stay tuned for the most trauma-educated advice I can lend. Transcript: Seasons, greetings, and salutations, fuckers. Today we have a listener question, which is a...
“How to deal with Mind Games in the Workplace” – Reminder: CPTSD primes us for abusive work experiences that ‘feel like home’
Stumbled upon this Forbes article about dealing with covertly manipulative / abusive coworkers. “How To Deal With Mind Games In The Workplace” And I’m thrilled, yet disheartened, that this is an article in such a big publication. Excerpt: For...![[ pt 2 ] No BS: Using self-defense knowledge for healing self and other pt 2 | Video+Tscript](https://i0.wp.com/t-mfrs.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/2.png?resize=1080%2C675&ssl=1)
[ pt 2 ] No BS: Using self-defense knowledge for healing self and other pt 2 | Video+Tscript
Back to compassionate understanding and acting in the face of immature self-defense mechanisms! A few additions to Passive Aggression, then we’re onto Splitting and Projective Identification. Turns out, it’s an insightful emotional episode for those of us...
No BS: Using self-defense knowledge for healing self and other pt I
“To be insane in insane circumstances is to be sane.” We’re tapping compassion & healing, not criticism & wounding, as we utilize self-defense research for good, pt I. Let’s talk about practical steps towards healing our self and others...
How to overcome trauma shame? A “lean into it” approach.
You asked, I answer. How to overcome shame surrounding traumatic events? I have a bottom-up approach that targets the hell your brain already believes you’re living though… so we might as well process, re-evaluate, and recontextualize your worst...
BONUS NUG: The Freedom of Fucking Up (and apologizing when you do)
t-brain says: mistakes and apologies = danger. Especially in the self esteem department. h-brain says: nah, Fucker. They’re esteem and relationship (em)power moves. Transcript: Good morning, fuckers. Look, this is a completely unexpected drop, but I thought that...![4.7 Major-Image Distorting self-Defenses [Splitting and Projective Identification]](https://i0.wp.com/t-mfrs.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/07/1722263321222-1a6842c4-da57-4328-9af6-1d4f8223b7b4.jpeg?resize=1080%2C675&ssl=1)
4.7 Major-Image Distorting self-Defenses [Splitting and Projective Identification]
The new definition of “abuse” – and why family estrangement is ‘trending’
https://www.patreon.com/posts/108753298 Here’s a free video on abuse (in brain-educated 2024 terms) that I just released. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/forces-of-nature/202406/family-estrangement-is-more-than-a-hashtag And here’s an easy to read...
Back to Basics: What IS Abuse? In 2024 terms. With examples.
The question that fucks with us all, on both ends of the relationship dynamic. How do we define “abuse”? And how can we spot it in our own lives? Let’s redefine it, run through some examples, and ask some Qs that might help you to identify it in your...
Projective Identification (emotional enmeshment soup) | Video+Transcript
Short and snappy, let’s talk about Projective Identification. It’s more than “Projection,” it’s a clusterfuck of displacement, omnipotent accusations, and forced-emotional-enmeshment. Heads up, you might recognize it from your soupiest...
Projective Identification (emotional enmeshment soup)
Short and snappy, let’s talk about Projective Identification. It’s more than “Projection,” it’s a clusterfuck of displacement, omnipotent accusations, and forced-emotional-enmeshment. Heads up, you might recognize it from your soupiest...
Psychosomatic Video Shorts!
For the ADHDrs and co – a gift. Here’s the recent psychosomatic video, broken into 7-8 topical shorts! Bite sized. Find them all on the youtube playlist belowwwwww. Thank you for all you do and take care of your self. <3 CHEERS...
THE BASIC BEHAVIOR CHANGE NECESSARY FOR CHANGING TRAUMA PATTERNS / LIVING YOUR OWN LIFE (and becoming a positive force during this time of global-trauma-reactivity, while you’re at it)
Warning: general discussion of the world being a dumpsterfire and that burning nightmare being caused by unexamined trauma -> purposeful thoughtlessness that allows tribalistic B&W nonsense and highly-reactive, extremist behavior. There are no specifics mentioned...
Coercion vs. Influence vs. Persuasion vs. Manipulation
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/final-word-persuasion-influence-manipulation-coercion-pritchard-h5ite An outside article with an easy graphic that explains (a theory) on the difference between these mental tricks! Thanks to Kyle for sending it over.Psychosomatic Illness and CPTSD Recovery: Everything you need to know
What is it / what isn’t Psychosomatic Illness? How does the Brain-Body Painbrow Bridge work? 6 common causes to watch out for. And how to navigate PSI without making it worse. <3 Stay well, take self-maintenance and self-care. ps – check out the recent...
On: Navigating Psychosomatic Illness in CPTSD Recovery
What a time to be sortof alive … as I lay in bed, clutching my guts, chronically moving because low blood pressure keeps numbing my limbs, breathing shallowly, and going through achey-breaky cycles of chills and sweats. My head is exploding. My insides have...
Why “you’re the problem.” Dishonest Harmony vs. Honest Conflict in Generationally Traumatized Families
https://www.upworthy.com/dishonest-harmony-boomer-parent Stumbled upon an article this morning that provided two excellent phrases for the CPTSD recoverer:1. Dishonest Harmony (What our families want), and2. Honest Conflict (What CPTSD rehab inspires and requires) If...Splitting (AKA – Reality-Obscuring Compartmentalization)
What do the Salem witch trials, serial killers, and extremist political figures have in common? Today we discuss “splitting,” the basis of fragmented personalities, abuse enablement, narcissism, tumultuous relationships, high-low self-esteem ala...Presentation Video! Splitting (AKA – Reality-Obscuring Compartmentalization)
Too sick for facetime. But here’s the most recent episode, cc’d and set to slides! What do the Salem witch trials, serial killers, and extremist political figures have in common? Today we discuss “splitting,” the basis of fragmented...
Back to Basics! Somatic Experiencing: Safety and self-Advocacy
Somatic experiencing can be a powerful tool for trauma recovery, but it’s crucial to approach it safely and with proper self-advocacy. This episode outlines five key considerations for engaging in somatic experiencing therapy: maintaining a slow pace, focusing on specific events, ensuring personal safety, addressing feelings of sadness and shame, and stabilizing before leaving therapy sessions. The importance of finding a trustworthy practitioner and creating a safe environment for processing trauma is emphasized. Additionally, the connection between somatic experiencing and embodiment practices is explored, offering practical suggestions for those not yet ready for formal therapy.
MFs Speak! Daniel and Somatic Experiencing
Somatic experiencing is a powerful therapeutic approach for trauma recovery that focuses on body-mind connections. This personal account highlights the effectiveness of combining visual imagery, emotional awareness, and physical sensations in processing trauma. The speaker emphasizes the importance of professional guidance and the potential for rapid, profound results. While somatic experiencing can be intense, it offers a unique way to address deeply rooted trauma responses. The integration of cognitive techniques, such as challenging self-limiting beliefs, with somatic practices creates a comprehensive healing approach. This testimony underscores the value of both top-down and bottom-up processing in trauma recovery.
self-Defense Notes & Article Excerpts SO FAR
This comprehensive overview of defense mechanisms provides valuable insights into psychological coping strategies and their impact on trauma recovery. By understanding the hierarchy of defenses, from immature to mature, individuals and therapists can better identify and address maladaptive coping mechanisms. The focus on action defenses and major image distortions offers a deeper understanding of how these psychological processes can affect mental health and interpersonal relationships. Recognizing these patterns is crucial for developing more adaptive coping strategies and fostering emotional resilience in trauma recovery.
Bonus Video! Narcs showing their ASS [Abuse-Supporting Stupidity]
This episode explores the concept of “abuse-supporting stupidity” in narcissistic behavior patterns. It highlights how narcissists often engage in self-sabotaging behaviors due to their reliance on immature defense mechanisms and lack of self-reflection. The discussion emphasizes that abusers unintentionally create a disintegrated psychological environment, affecting both themselves and their victims. Understanding this process can help survivors make sense of their experiences and reduce self-blame for staying in abusive relationships. Recognizing these patterns is crucial for healing and breaking the cycle of abuse.
Video+Transcript | self-Defenses Level 2: Major Image Distortions
In this episode, we delve into level two immature defenses, specifically major image distorting defenses. These psychological mechanisms protect individuals from anxiety by simplifying perceptions of self and others into all-good or all-bad categories. While these defenses may provide temporary relief, they often lead to negative consequences in relationships and can contribute to depression. Understanding these defense mechanisms can help individuals recognize patterns in themselves and others, potentially leading to more nuanced and healthier ways of processing emotions and experiences.