by Jess | Dec 23, 2023 | Git Changing | Advanced, Holiday Survival, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content, Transcripts
Hey Fuckers. I’m just sitting here, eating some eggs, thinking about you all, the past, and the future… and felt inclined to get a jump start on our upcoming 2023 reflection close-out and visioning for 2024. In fact, I realized that it’s going to be a great time...
by Jess | Dec 21, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Filial Obligation and Entrapment, Git Educated | Intermediate, Holiday Survival, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
There’s plenty to be grateful for this holiday. If you spend time with family, it’ll be right in front of your face. Hail your recovery and Merry Holidays, Motherfucker. ❄️🍻❄️
by Jess | Dec 21, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, CPTSD Relationship Downfalls, Git Educated | Intermediate, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Subscriber Content
What’s the difference between shame and guilt? And how do they mandate relationship wreckage? As always, Idunno. But here’s one perspective.
by Jess | Dec 15, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Subscriber Content
Can’t wrap a year on relationships without talking abuse tactics. Let’s discuss DARVO and SAPIEN – strategies to be mindful of (in others & yourself) this holiday season and beyond.
by Jess | Dec 13, 2023 | Bonus Episodes, CPTSD Relationship Downfalls, Git Changing | Advanced, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content, Transcripts
BONUS EDITION: Find extra content in this version. Well hello and welcome to a surprise show, for all of us. The world didn’t end after the last episode, so we’re coming back for another romp. Some feedback from that prior post. (Now that I’m back on the same...
by Jess | Dec 13, 2023 | Bonus Episodes, Git Changing | Advanced, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Subscriber Content
A Fucker loves to “close out the year.” Let’s take a look at the cycles you’ve been through and identify important lessons learned.
by Jess | Dec 13, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Subscriber Content
The world didn’t end after the last post and I have more to say. Let’s talk about identifying if your sexual life is healthy and clear some additional points.
by Jess | Dec 11, 2023 | CPTSD Relationship Downfalls, Education, Public Blog, Public Content, Public Season 03, RECOVERY, Seasons, Series
Hey Motherfuckers. How are you? How did you survive Thanksgiving? How festive have you been feeling? And what can I tell you about what we’re working on in December? Well, we’re covering a lot of topics over in the main podcast stream! Wrapping up our 2023 focus...
by Jess | Dec 9, 2023 | CPTSD Relationship Downfalls, Git Changing | Advanced, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content, Transcripts
So, Fuckers. We’re “wrapping up” relationships as we round out 2023. Which isn’t really true, because CPTSD is so based IN relationships (the onset and the continued challenges we encounter) that we’ll never be done discussing them. But as for examining what...
by Jess | Dec 8, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, CPTSD Relationship Downfalls, Git Educated | Intermediate, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
We’ve talked about intimacy… but not *intimacy.* Diving into sex, let’s talk about childhood and adult programming through parts and need fulfillment strategies ala IFS and NVC… and rewiring sexual imbalances that don’t represent your...
by Jess | Dec 4, 2023 | Bonus Video, Git Changing | Advanced, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Subscriber Content
Been working on an all new experience for you, including animated videos! Let’s talk about Transference in the highest quality vid I’ve done in years. TransferenceProjectionMonkey-barringDisplacementAnd what to do about the Transference Trend in yer...
by Jess | Dec 1, 2023 | Git Changing | Advanced, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Subscriber Content, Transcripts
Hey Fuckers! I’m going to talk at you for a minute before we get into the episode. Because I feel like we need to catch up. Because this is one of the few weeks this year I have been caught up – a member of consensus reality who’s operating on the same timeline...
by Jess | Dec 1, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Subscriber Content
“You should do an episode on Transference,” one of y’all said. I resisted, until “Displacement” became a point of fascination. Let’s talk about Transference (Classic) and the other forms (Projection, Monkey-barring,...
by Jess | Dec 1, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Subscriber Content
You Q’d I A’d. Let’s talk about Transference (Classic) and the other forms (Projection, Monkey-barring, Displacement)…. plus, why they’re ALL dangerous phenom that set everyone up to fail. “How do you know which emotions signal...
by Jess | Nov 24, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
Here we go! Let’s rundown the ways to take care of ourselves (and maybe some need-deprived others) this holiday. Cuz no, it’s not your job to make sure any one else is need-fulfilled. But until they’re shown that they’re allowed to be,...
by Jess | Nov 24, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Subscriber Content
What happens when “gratitude” loses all meaning? Or even, acquires negative meaning? Let’s talk about why this holiday can be especially triggering, as forced “thankfulness” becomes a signal for self-abandonment.
by Jess | Nov 24, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Subscriber Content
Let’s cut the brainy shit, the real answer to surviving the holidays is not abandoning yourself.
by Jess | Nov 17, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Subscriber Content
In 2021 the word of the year was Fawning. Today, let’s revisit those discussions while layering on our needs-deprivation conversation as we continue to prepare ourselves for the holidays.
by Jess | Nov 17, 2023 | Bonus Episodes, Git Changing | Advanced, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
What can this Fucker say about communicating on t-brains? Got plenty of lessons in reactivity to share. And yes, turns out “there are some adults who still need to hear this”
by Jess | Nov 14, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
Responding to vulnerable disclosures can be as hard as issuing them. Let’s talk about how to set yourself up for responsive success, keeping trauma-brain fuckshittery in mind.
by Jess | Nov 10, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, NonViolent Communication, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
Wonky episode format and scheduling coming up! But here’s why. Let’s get into discussing the “How-TOs” of responding, now that we’ve told you what NOT to do.
by Jess | Nov 10, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
What are the steps to effective responding that take massive pressure off your every word? Let’s talk about the keys to success, which open up room for less stressful communication to progress afterwards.
by Jess | Nov 5, 2023 | Ask Me Anything, Bonus Video, Git Changing | Advanced, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Subscriber Content
Got back from a windy hike this morning and decided to answer an email via video for you Fuckers. Lez talk about the difference between “human bullshit” (AKA the bullshit crust) and “lower level survival reactions.” Happy...
by Jess | Nov 3, 2023 | Education, LIVING with Complex Trauma, NonViolent Communication, Public Blog, Public Content, Public Season 03, Research, Seasons
My Fuckers. Hey there. Thanks for stopping by and listening to my Spotify for Podcasters ad (assuming that’s still rolling at YOUR time of hitting play). Little known fact: by listening to those, you help me earn a fraction of a cent. And, truly, facetious...
by Jess | Nov 3, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
Back to it! Here are the next 5 ways we commonly respond to others which shuts down discussion, fosters misunderstanding, and breeds contempt, according to the NVC experts.
by Jess | Nov 2, 2023 | Git Changing | Advanced, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Subscriber Content, Transcripts
Hey Fuckers! We’re here, to get back into the communication aspects of NVC. We’ve been on a bit of a journey together in the past few months. Episodes 1-3 of this series were on the 4-step process of Nonviolent Communication. The specific approaches and...
by Jess | Oct 27, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Subscriber Content
What shuts down effective communication efforts? Well, we’ve got 10 “unrecommended” responses for you. We’ll talk about WHY people use them, what they convey, how they impact the relationship forever, how to de-program them from yourself, and how to course-correct the...
by Jess | Oct 20, 2023 | NonViolent Communication, Public Blog, Public Content, Public Season 03, Seasons, Series
NonViolent Communication language x unmet needs Hey Fuckers. Guess who’s showing up a week late on this platform? It’s this guy. You know why? Because this guy (ng’d) has finally started paying attention to their level of chronic self-deprivation. AKA – The...
by Jess | Oct 20, 2023 | Bonus Episodes, Git Changing | Advanced, MFs Speak!, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
Today let’s take a relcalibration break to hear the other major points hidden in NonViolent Communication. Straight from the person who introduced me to NVC.
by Jess | Oct 15, 2023 | Bonus Episodes, Git Changing | Advanced, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Subscriber Content
Trying a new thing! Leading your reflections and opening space for new community building! ~~ Get your Reflection Qs from the NVC #7 Workbook, in audio form ~~ Hear me clarify, expand, and rephrase questions. Helping you to get the most out of your trauma archeology...
by Jess | Oct 14, 2023 | Bonus Video, Git Changing | Advanced, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Subscriber Content
If we deprive ourselves long enough? The SUB-C starts looking for new means of getting our needs met. Let’s whiteboard about it.
by Jess | Oct 14, 2023 | Bonus Episodes, Git Changing | Advanced, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Subscriber Content
If we’re masters at masking our own needs so recovery becomes impossible… how can we start to figure out the ways we’re depriving ourselves?
by Jess | Oct 14, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Subscriber Content
How do deprived and “unallowed” needs connect with our accrual of CPTSD and abuse-acceptance? Let’s talk about our FOO’s coercive control tactics for ~13 minutes.
by Jess | Oct 13, 2023 | Git Changing | Advanced, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Private Blog, Series, Subscriber Content, Transcripts, Workbooks
Notes: We have rigid rules about what needs are “allowed” for us in normal circumstances. Those rules often create webs of mandatory needs related to the original over-satiated needs. i.e. rigidly over-exercising -> medical needs, nutritional needs,...
by Jess | Oct 13, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
Just a quick point to drive home several times over. No, you’re not CHOOSING self-destruction. Check “Nobody should believe me” wherever you podcast.
by Jess | Oct 13, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
So we love to deprive ourselves “for goodness” – but what happens when your subconscious has enough? Today, talking about ways our SUB-C connives against us, creating extraordinary circumstances that allow us to fulfill our “unallowed...
by Jess | Oct 7, 2023 | Bonus Episodes, Git Changing | Advanced, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
So we just finished looking at precise & accurate emotions… ARE there any instances in which “false, projected feelings” are valid? Can self-abuse words be helpful? And how does that concept connect with our parts work ala IFS?
by Jess | Oct 7, 2023 | Bonus Episodes, Git Changing | Advanced, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
The title says it all? We learned that “projected, false, judgmental” emotional words are a big part of our vocabularies that holds us back. So, let’s redefine those words and pull meaning from them. What are we REALLY trying to say and how can we...
by Jess | Oct 7, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
How do we mask our needs from ourselves, fruitlessly dumping energy into areas of life that won’t return any chemical pr physical reward? Lettuce talk about what I’m calling “secondary (preferred) needs” – as they relate to...
by Jess | Oct 6, 2023 | Bonus Video, Git Changing | Advanced, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Series, Subscriber Content, Transcripts, Workbooks
Eek. Talk about self-deprivation……. no, really, let’s talk about self-deprivation, masquerading as “meeting our most important needs.” Notes: Ya know, I gave a decent summary in the episode this time ’round. Here it is again: We...
by Jess | Sep 30, 2023 | Bonus Video, Git Changing | Advanced, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
Let’s break down “behavioral strings” and see what we can learn about deprivation, triggers, and emotional spirals. NVC on BS on t-recovery, GO!
by Jess | Sep 29, 2023 | Git Changing | Advanced, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Subscriber Content, Transcripts, Workbooks
NOTES Depression is the reward we get for being good children. We’re taught what needs we’re allowed to pay attention to as children, we struggle to break those patterns as adults. This creates lifetimes of deprivation in the effort to be...
by Jess | Sep 29, 2023 | Blog, Education, LIVING with Complex Trauma, NonViolent Communication, Public Blog, Public Content, Public Season 03, RECOVERY, Seasons
Ohhhh Fuckers, welcome back! We have so much to pick up on, from where we left off last time and I hope you’re ready to dive in. Can we all agree, again, that Fall fucking rules? I hope you’re living your best weirdo life out there right now. What an enigma of a...
by Jess | Sep 29, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
NonViolent Communication has more to tell us. Today, we’re talking about “the reward we get for being ‘good’ – depression,” and everything else that stands in the way of fulfillment.
by Jess | Sep 25, 2023 | Bonus Episodes, Git Changing | Advanced, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
When does an unmet need become a “burden”? What does conflict signify? What’s the answer to resolving interpersonal conflict and healing ourselves? Let’s talk about the intense conceptual crossover between NonViolent Communication and Internal...
by Jess | Sep 25, 2023 | Bonus Episodes, Git Changing | Advanced, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Series, Subscriber Content, Transcripts
Hey y’all! Welcome to another bonus episode and thank you so much for supporting the project to this degree. This tier makes my world go round. Your interest and financial backing keep me motivated and keep the lights on. So, sincerely, sending all my...
by Jess | Sep 23, 2023 | Bonus Video, Git Changing | Advanced, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
If Rosenberg WASN’T designing NVC with trauma recovery in mind… Idk wtf he was doin. Here’s how to intuitively apply NVC to t-brain rehab!
by Jess | Sep 22, 2023 | Git Changing | Advanced, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Subscriber Content, Transcripts, Workbooks
Notes:NonViolent Communication suggests our needs drive our emotions, which drive our perceptions.From that point, our behaviors are also affected.Going into an interpersonal interaction with unmet needs primes you for creating conflict via projections.Behavioral...
by Jess | Sep 22, 2023 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
Better communication? Great. A recovered t-brain from the same process? Now we’re fckn talkin bud. Today, we’re discussing the most important aspects of NVC – and they have very little to do with other people. Well… except for understanding why...
by Jess | Sep 16, 2023 | Bonus Episodes, Git Changing | Advanced, NonViolent Communication, Patron Season 11, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content, Workbooks
It’s a full length Bonus episode! Let’s cover additional examples / pointers from Rosenberg and run through 4 application-checking exercises together.
