SciWorthy Draft Article: Rumination and PTSD Review
Hey, I’m doing yet another new thing. Writing study summaries for a site called SciWorthy to get some Trauma talk in the scientific learners circle. Below, find my first submission… before I had to cut it down by 50%. Enjoy a review of a review on...
Emotional Cognition and Complex Trauma
Here we are, on episode two of talkin bout Emotions. Who’s still confused and critical about this whole “feelings” thing? I sure fuckin am. Let’s dig in deeper, with some more emotional education? Pretty sure we all need it. First of all, I don’t need to give the...
Member Post: The Cinderella Effect
A submission today from TMFR Discord Guru, Doanya. This MF is always spitting out some insight and recent learning that helps us all. She has a ton of experience in sorting through Trauma effects and shows so much strength in her continual efforts to settle up with...
Shit Emotions? Blame evolution
Hey, this isn’t a new story, but it’s one that I think we’re all pretty used to. Just some lifelong internal destruction that seems completely out of my control and impacts my life in unpredictable ways when I least expect it. You know, the usual experience when we’re...
3.26 Anxiety, music and DIY-living with Brett Newski
Where were you in 2013? Among other things, I was at a house show where I ran into a travelling DIY musician, Brett Newski. Today, I’m reconnecting with the anxiety-inspired songwriter as we talk about bullying, COVID coping, and mental illness catharsis....
3.25 Evil step-moms, narc abuse, and ABA recovery with HotMessGuru
The TMFR Discord community is full of smart, recovery-minded Fuckers. One of the sunniest personalities is HotMessGuru, a single mom with a new leash on life since starting her CPTSD recover ~2 years ago. Listen to her early struggles, narcissistic partner drama, and...
Two brains: Anti-self behaviors
Just having a little brainstorming session today, as I contend with the fact that I just ate half a jar of peanut butter again without realizing it. My thought (after rightfully scorning myself) is… how and why does this happen? Yeah, I know, we have emotional...
3.24 October AMA!
Hope it’s alright, I threw this into the general podcasting ether a few minutes ago… because, well, I couldn’t download the episode to share it with y’all until I hit “post.” Whoops… I’ll work out the bugs in the...
Member Post: Family Estrangement
Another post today from Community Badass, Doanya! MF’s always spitting serious words for us (with all the dark humor and sarcasm you could dream of). Here, we have a quick article and reflection on something she’s been dealing with like a soldier, settling...
Archie’s three month progress report
It’s hard to believe that it’s been three months since I took Archie on as a foster. I mean, it’s baffling that it’s been so long and so short, all at once. It feels like a lifetime and the blink of an eye, somehow. I’ve been too overworked and distracted to keep up...
CPTSD AAAM; Archie As A Metaphor
Ya know, I sort of have a problem with seeing everything through trauma and recovery-tinted glasses in my life. If you let my brain go wild, it’ll decide that EVERYTHING is related to trauma and early life events, somehow. Meet a new person? Start sneakily asking...
The cycle of narcissistic abuse and C-PTSD
Who has bad taste in romantic partners? I do! No matter how many times I think I’m choosing wisely… uh… I’m not. Plain and simple, I don’t know how to choose a good human for my significant other. Am I a chronic dater? Just taking whatever comes my way? Nope, actually...
✭✭✭✭ 3.23 How to deal with Emotions
This episode explores practical techniques for dealing with difficult emotions in trauma recovery. The host shares personal experiences and strategies, emphasizing the importance of mindfulness, journaling, nature therapy, and self-compassion. Key topics include recognizing dissociation, allowing oneself to feel emotions without judgment, and developing self-awareness. The discussion provides a balanced approach to emotional regulation, acknowledging the challenges while offering actionable steps for healing and personal growth.
✭✭✭✭ Early release: HOW to deal with emotions
This episode explores practical techniques for dealing with difficult emotions in trauma recovery. The host shares personal experiences and strategies, emphasizing the importance of mindfulness, journaling, nature therapy, and self-compassion. Key topics include recognizing dissociation, allowing oneself to feel emotions without judgment, and developing self-awareness. The discussion provides a balanced approach to emotional regulation, acknowledging the challenges while offering actionable steps for healing and personal growth.
Video: Our hidden brains with David Eagleman
Just passing along some information from my current course! (Cognitive and Affective Bases of Behavior) This is a video we had to watch in our Attention module. Below is a “blog” I had to write to demonstrate how this information can be useful in real...
Narcissists. AKA – Defining “dating my father”
It was 2016, I was 26 years old. I had just gone through a major life-shittery period that stretched from 23 to the present year (and would get much worse from there). In this period, I had a mental illness explosion sparked by a non-stop schedule of achievement and...
An Experiment in Workaholism; Behavior Analysis & CPTSD
Alright, so if you’ve been here long you’ve probably heard this story already. When was the last time I had to take a “hiatus?” Oh yeah, like two months ago. Annnnd here we are again. You know I have a fucking problem with NOT working? I...
ABA and Trauma; Imposter Syndrome erupts
Let me just take a moment and say… Motherfuckers, I’m tired. I’ve been back in school for a little over a month now, working towards my Masters in Science in Applied Behavior Analysis. No, it’s not that taking one condensed class at a time is too much. No, I’m not one...
Social connection is the strongest protective factor for depression
Just a blurb worth a share. Sauce: https://www.massgeneral.org/news/press-release/Study-of-more-than-100-modifiable-factors-for-depression-identifies-social-connection-as-the-strongest-protective-factor Researchers from Massachusetts General Hospital (MGH) have...
✭✭✭✭ 3.22 Emotions, Attention, and Cognition
This episode explores the complex relationship between emotions, cognition, and trauma recovery. It delves into how our family backgrounds and social environments shape our ability to recognize and process emotions. The discussion covers negative priming, overstimulation, and fear responses, explaining how these factors can impact emotional awareness and self-evaluation in trauma survivors. By understanding these connections, individuals can begin to address their emotional dissociation and work towards more effective trauma recovery.
Over-stimulation and Trauma Brains
I have to tell you guys, I’ve been having a rough time in one regard lately. I’m not feeling emotionally-off balance or down and out… but I am feeling very unsettled, pressured, and overly-responsive every day. I’m just a bit agitated. Frustrated. Anxious and...
Just a journal entry from a stressed day
Just wanted to share a random example of me talking to myself via writing. It’s always an effective way for me to tap into whatever is bothering me so I can move the fuck on. I’ve been feeling flooded with stimulation, information, and expectation to the...
✭✭ 3.20 Evolutionary Basis of Emotions
Hey, quick question… What are emotions? Not “where do they come from in the brain.” We’re all tired of the limbic system at this point. I mean, what are they and why do we have them? Today, I’m talking about the evolutionary derivation of...
✭✭✭ 3.19 Self-sabotage and Dissociation
Shoutout to Tina. Posting this as an early release on Patreon, in case it helps.
Transcript | Annnnd I no longer trust myself to be in any relationship
Full disclosure: I did a thing I definitely shouldn’t have done. It was stupid, it was compulsive, and it is paying off in mentally-distracted dividends that I do not appreciate. Hey, who’s struggling to write for the first time in years? It’s this asshole, right...
Childhood Emotional Neglect
Hey hey hey… back again to tout other people’s work because I’m too overworked to rewrite it myself. Who has Childhood Emotional Neglect? (Most of us!) Who feels like it’s relevant most of the time? (None of us!) When we’re talking...
A CPTSD-Workplace article that hit hard
Sauce: https://cptsdfoundation.org/2019/05/27/finding-a-career-despite-living-with-a-disability/ Yo, I’m totally just re-blogging this. I found it on accident and thought it was an extremely useful way to think about your career and the ways it weighs (see what...
It’s not “okay,” but apparently I have Gender Triggers
Okay, here’s a personal one, Motherfuckers. Also, an angry, void-of-any-research one. I’m RANTING this one out to relieve some steam. Sorry (not super sorry) to everyone I’m about to piss off. If you know I’m talking about you… fine, actual,...
3.18 BONUS Conversation | My MOM! Part 2
Part TWO of my conversation with my MOM. If you’re not aware, she’s the anxiety-motivated, broken animal loving, workaholic who has incrementally been a role model or emotionally-dismissive monster in my life, depending on the day. Things have always been...
3.17 BONUS Conversation | My MOM! Part 1
Part One. If you’ve been listening, you’ve heard about my neurotic, emotionally-averse Mom. I’ve been staying with her for the past 3 months and – for the first time in 20 years – we’ve been spending time together without tearing...
Member Follow-up! Axes of Trauma Recovery
Hey, you know, I write things sometimes that people really relate to. It’s super neat. Gives me life. Shows that this thing is worthwhile. Recently, I wrote and podcasted my hypothesis on the “Axes of Trauma Recovery” that I’ve seen in my life....
✭✭ 3.15 Narcissistic Cycle of Abuse
In the last episode we talked about what defines a narcissist. Today, we’re exploring the addictive highs and lows of the narcissistic cycle of abuse and why C-PTSD sufferers are so easily drawn into the trap. Abusive histories, codependent tendencies, and...
3.14 Narcissists, Defined.
Who’s bad at relationships? Yeeeah, me too. In particular, I hear a lot of us wonder about one personality disorder that underlies all the relationship drama… What’s up with the narcissists that seem to seek and destroy us, anyways? What exactly IS a...
Where Depression and CPTSD collide, we reside.
Oh lawd, there’s a topic that I’ve kindof avoided for the past year… I mean, how do you even get started with discussing an aspect of your life that has either been your secret companion or your captive tormentor for the past 30 years? Depression. My history with...
3.13 A Workaholic Experiment in Applied Behavior Analysis
Hey, it’s that time again. Taking a solid look at that life I’ve been creating via anxiety and workaholic tendencies…. and ABA-challenging myself to experiment with redirecting this messy MO towards more functional behaviors. Don’t worry, this...
✭✭ 3.12 Early Days Rerelease: Over-stimulation, Hypersensitivity, and Trauma
Explore the connection between trauma and overstimulation in this podcast episode. Learn about the physiological basis of hypervigilance, how childhood trauma affects sensory processing, and strategies for managing environmental and internal stimuli. Discover insights into why trauma survivors may struggle with concentration and emotional regulation in everyday situations.
✭✭ 3.11 Highly Sensitive People; the personality trait
Today, we’re talking about a new personality trait that I learned from the TMFR Discord community! Are you continually overloaded? Overwhelmed? Overstimulated? You might be an HSP – a High Sensitive Person. Find out if you’re part of the 15-20% of...
✭✭ 3.10 Depression, Evolution, and Survival
Where to begin this conversation? Depression is as inseparable from my life experience as breathing. So, today, I’m looking at the crossover between Complex Trauma and Depression. What are the hallmarks of C-PTSD that lend themselves to clinical depressive...
3.9 Interview | Marie D’Elephant of Everyone’s Autonomous
My first-ever Motherfucking interview! Today, I’m talking with Marie D’Elephant, host of the Everyone’s Autonomous Podcast and personal Autonomy coach. This human RULES. Marie discusses her past religious trauma, deconversion, and learning how to...
3.8 Early Days Rerelease: Comfort in Chaos
Explore the complex relationship between trauma survivors and chaos. This podcast episode discusses how individuals with complex trauma may find comfort in chaotic environments and examines the physiological responses to stress. Learn about the impact of external chaos on family dynamics and personal growth, and discover insights into adapting to challenging situations.
Distress Intolerance and Perseverant Thinking
You know, having this handicapable pup is definitely teaching me a lot. I’m not going to lie and say that everyday is a fucking walk in the park. He can’t even walk, so that makes the metaphor a lot more difficult, for starters. Let me be clear, taking...
✭✭ 3.7 Early Days Rerelease: Axes of PTSD Management
Explore the three-pronged axis for trauma life recovery, focusing on environment, inner landscape, and behaviors. This podcast episode discusses how these components work together to support long-term healing from complex trauma. Learn about the challenges of maintaining progress when only one or two aspects are addressed, and discover insights into creating a more holistic approach to trauma recovery.
My article in “The Anxiety Chronicles” by The Lily
Just leaving this here. My article in The Lily from one year ago! Anxious messes, holler. https://www.thelily.com/long-bouts-of-insomnia-constant-agitation-appetite-dysregulation-this-is-how-i-experience-anxiety/ August 29, 2019 Anxiety Chronicles is a series from The...
Comfort in Chaos
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the behaviors and relations between my mother and I. Why? Because she’s essentially the only human I’ve seen in months… Also, because in the past 20 years we haven’t been able to stand each other for more than a few hours at a...
3.6 Early Days Rerelease: Distress Intolerance and Perseverant Thinking
xplore the concept of distress intolerance and its connection to perseverant thinking in trauma recovery. This podcast episode discusses the challenges of managing overwhelming emotional responses and offers practical strategies for breaking negative thought patterns. Learn how to recognize and address distress intolerance in daily life, and discover techniques for building resilience after trauma.
Three-pronged Axis for Trauma Life Recovery
Sometimes people ask HOW I got any of my shit in order. And let me be clear – I think it’s misguided to ask me – I’m an idiot who just so happened to figure some things out after a lot of trial and error, and enjoys writing too much. That being...
My emotional “Switch.” Trauma, Dissociation, Emotional Numbing
What is there to say about emotions? In the life of a Traumatized Motherfucker… a whole lot. They’re either here, making their presence known in an overwhelming manner that leaves you debilitated to handle the rest of your personal stressors OR out to sea, floating...
3.5 The Anxiety Chronicles 2019
Recently, there have been some challenging flashbacks and memories in my world. Anniversaries do that to me. One year ago there was a lot going on – from publishing an article in The Lily about life with debilitating anxiety… to finally being permitted to...