by Jess | Feb 8, 2021 | Blog, Jess Journals, LIVING with Complex Trauma, Public Blog, Transcripts
Things I’ve gotten good at throughout this Trauma journey: Seeing connections between where I’m from and where I am Thinking for the first time about where I’m going Letting myself have emotions Letting those emotions go Redirecting my energy and attention away from...
by Jess | Feb 4, 2021 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Data-Driven Trauma Management, Git Educated | Intermediate, Most Helpful - 2 Stars, Patron Season 04, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content, Voted Most Helpful
Ready to stop calling yourself “crazy?” In Part I we learned a bit about Applied Behavior Analysis and the application to Trauma recovery. Today, we’re using that information to collect data about ourselves, and beginning to form hypotheses about our...
by Jess | Feb 2, 2021 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Data-Driven Trauma Management, Git Educated | Intermediate, Most Helpful - 2 Stars, Patron Season 04, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content, Voted Most Helpful
It’s time. Time to talk about Applied Behavior Analysis and trauma management. Because if you don’t know why your body and brain respond to unknown stimuli in your inner and outer environments, it’s pretty difficult to make a life you feel good about...
by Jess | Feb 1, 2021 | Public Blog, Blog, Education, LIVING with Complex Trauma, Transcripts
Waking up, like I didn’t sleep for weeks. Falling asleep after five minutes on my feet. A pounding head. That sense of dread. Sticky sharp pains through in my shoulders and neck. Brain short on energy, missing a few cards from the deck. Waves of nausea and stomach...
by Jess | Jan 27, 2021 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Patron Season 04, Seasons, Subscriber Content
Exhaustion, unexplained pain, weakness, digestive failures, tension migraines, temperature sensitivity, insomnia, insulin resistance, nausea, cold and flu symptoms… Fibromyalgia. Have you ever looked into all the stress-based ailments that Fibro (FM) encompasses?...
by Jess | Jan 26, 2021 | Public Blog, Blog, Transcripts
So, you know how I sometimes spit a lot of potentially shitty advice at you because people ask me for it? Yeah, I think it’s a bad idea, too. But I am trying my damndest to get through my contact form questions, come hell or high wallows. Also, yes, I’m just as tired...
by Jess | Jan 22, 2021 | Subscriber Content, Bonus Episodes, Git Changing | Advanced, Patron Season 04, Seasons
The past 3 years of life have been determined by applying behavior analysis to my traumatized life and making big, frightening moves. Annnd it’s time for another one – moving out of Atlanta and into my (gulp) midwestern mom’s house. Talking about...
by Jess | Jan 20, 2021 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, MF Speaks, MF Stories, MFs Speak!, Patron Season 04, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
TW: Sexual abuse, incest, and substance abuse. I’ve always invited TMFRs to radio in with their own accounts of living this trauma life… but faith in ourselves and our voices is lacking. Today, one MF finally steps up to the plate. Meet Cassie, a brilliant...
by Jess | Jan 18, 2021 | Public Blog, Blog, LIVING with Complex Trauma, RECOVERY, Tools and Resources, Transcripts
Do I really need therapy? It’s something I hear a lot – whether being asked about how necessary it really is, or listening to accounts of frustrating experiences – is mistrust, resistance, frustration, and exhaustion in regards to therapy. And man,...
by Jess | Jan 16, 2021 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Patron Season 04, Seasons, Subscriber Content
“It’s not helping as much as it’s hurting. So… do I really need to do this?” Talking about the ways therapy helps and harms, plus, why it’s so goddamn hard to find a trauma-informed mental health professional. Looking for more...
by Jess | Jan 12, 2021 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Patron Season 04, Seasons, Subscriber Content
You asked. I’ll share what I can. But realize: 1) whatdoIknow and 2) I use the term “recovery” lightly. Here are the steps that help a trauma life rebuild.
by Jess | Jan 11, 2021 | Public Blog, Blog, LIVING with Complex Trauma, RECOVERY, Tools and Resources, Transcripts
Key point: there’s a reason for the quotes around “Recover” So, back in the day I started this C-PTSD grassroots effort with the intention of sharing what had relatively rapidly changed my brain and my life. Transitioning from an agoraphobe trapped...
by Jess | Jan 8, 2021 | Git Educated | Intermediate, Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Most Helpful - 1 Star, Patron Season 04, Seasons, Subscriber Content, Voted Most Helpful
News: when it comes to relationships, I’m dumb! Or, still trying to fill the void left by my early experiences – one or the other. Here’s a look at SOME of the ways I’ve made massive relationship mistakes in my past – from getting drunk...
by Jess | Jan 4, 2021 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Most Helpful - 3 Stars, Patron Season 04, Seasons, Subscriber Content, Voted Most Helpful
We’re doing it again! But this time… I’m not just anxiety-talking into space. Here’s an inside look at life on CPTSD – and what’s the difference between PTSD and COMPLEX PTSD, anyways?
by Jess | Jan 4, 2021 | Blog, Public Blog, Transcripts
What IS complex trauma, redux So… uh… I already recorded this episode. After I had been making this misguided, “Might as fucking well humiliate myself,” podcast for a few weeks it seemed like a good idea to take a step back and talk about the definition of...
by Jess | Jan 1, 2021 | Bonus Episodes, Git Changing | Advanced, Patron Season 04, Seasons, Subscriber Content
Is this just getting ridiculous now? Ha, ha, ha, yeah. It’s the era of “starting to understand what I’m doing.” “….Hopefully.” Want to keep this project projecting into infinite new seasons? Hit up t-mfrs.com or...
by Jess | Jan 1, 2021 | Subscriber Content, CPTSD Relationship Downfalls, Git Changing | Advanced, Transcripts
Hey, Happy New Year! I’m starting 2021 right and doing that thing I detailed in the 2020 wrapup episode. Putting out my posts for Patrons to peruse before I record and release them! This is an open invitation to add your own experience, observations, or...
by Jess | Dec 31, 2020 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Most Helpful - 2 Stars, Patron Season 03, Seasons, Subscriber Content, Voted Most Helpful
Information is hard for a traumatized brain to process. We tend to carry unintegrated bits of data, which make living a directed life unmanageable. So start the new year on a better foot. Lay 2020 to rest with a few analytical activities to better recognize where...
by Jess | Dec 29, 2020 | Subscriber Content, Ask Me Anything, Git Changing | Advanced, Patron Season 03, Seasons
Is therapy necessary for CPTSD recovery?
by Jess | Dec 28, 2020 | Blog, Holiday Survival, Public Blog, Transcripts
So here we are, Fuckers. At the end of 2020. The days that we’ve all waited for. Do we all logically realize that today is no different than tomorrow in a practical sense? That this is an imaginary line drawn between planetary rotations? That the events of one...
by Jess | Dec 27, 2020 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Patron Season 03, Seasons, Subscriber Content
It’s the end of the year, Fuckers. I’m looking at the changes coming for TMFRs in 2021 – surprise, new community coming at you hot – and where we’ve been already.
by Jess | Dec 24, 2020 | Subscriber Content, Bonus Episodes, Git Changing | Advanced, Holiday Survival, Patron Season 03, Seasons, Series
It’s that time. Joy to the world? MF right. Have some quick reminders about how to handle the holidays. Plus, the free TMFR tee winner is revealed!
by Jess | Dec 24, 2020 | Public Blog, Blog, Jess Journals
So who’s looking at a challenging week here? While it seems like the rest of the world rejoices, you are in a very different “spirit” than they seem to foster. Maybe one of dread, disappointment, and anxiety? Emptiness? Frustration? Defeat? Sounds like my holidays...
by Jess | Dec 19, 2020 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Most Helpful - 3 Stars, Patron Season 03, Seasons, Subscriber Content, Voted Most Helpful
What else needs to be said? Even after years of trauma progress, backslides happen. Mental illness pops up when you least expect it. Dark, depressing day and anxious, angry afternoons. And your response? To berate the hell out of yourself? Right. Today, we’re...
by Jess | Dec 16, 2020 | Public Blog, Blog, LIVING with Complex Trauma, RECOVERY, Tools and Resources, Transcripts
You know those days when you wake up with something shoved farrrr up your butt? Sorry, that was especially crude. If that actually happens to you, I have questions about how much Ambien you’re taking. What I really mean is, from the moment you open your eyes,...
by Jess | Dec 14, 2020 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Most Helpful - 3 Stars, Patron Season 03, Seasons, Subscriber Content, Voted Most Helpful
Ever get stuck endlessly cycling through unwanted thoughts? Wonder where rumination ends and your trauma begins? Today, I’m talking about the overlap between ruminatory thought patterns, depression, and PTSD. The research says: they share a similar brain...
by Jess | Dec 14, 2020 | Blog, Education, LIVING with Complex Trauma, Public Blog, Tools and Resources, Transcripts
Today I wanted to take a step back and talk about something that I researched relatively recently for a different project. Something that has only become more relevant in my life as this post has sat around, untouched. The connections between rumination, depression,...
by Jess | Dec 7, 2020 | Blog, Jess Journals, LIVING with Complex Trauma, Public Blog, Transcripts
Depression, amiright? I’ve got it. Always had it, as far as I can tell. It’s not always knocking me out at the knees, but when it comes calling with determination, I fall on my ass pretty hard. Right now, I’m about halfway there. I’m not, “ready to be put...
by Jess | Dec 6, 2020 | Blog, Member Posts, MF Speaks, Public Blog
In many ways, my story is one of privilege. I’m a white man who grew up in white suburbs. I was educated well. I’ve thrived as a lawyer. Trauma, however, respects no privilege. My mother’s father looked like a small-town Southern gentleman. At home, he was an...
by Jess | Dec 5, 2020 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Patron Season 03, Seasons, Subscriber Content
Ever feel like you’re about 3 humans rolled into one? Maybe anxiety and depression are to blame, more than your fears of multiple personality disorder is on-point. Today, I’m talking about the vastly different influences of the high and low energy states...
by Jess | Dec 3, 2020 | Blog, Brain Operations, Education, LIVING with Complex Trauma, Public Blog, Tools and Resources, Transcripts
Hey y’all, how’s your week going? It’s a sunshiney Wednesday morning over here, with a morning Archie walk that clocked in at 27 degrees Fahrenheit around 6am, and a high of 45 degrees that means I’ll absolutely be taking an afternoon anxiety...
by Jess | Dec 2, 2020 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Most Helpful - 3 Stars, Patron Season 03, Seasons, Subscriber Content, Voted Most Helpful
Back to the science! Ever feel like an amnesiac disaster when you can’t seem to remember a single thing… or, at least, not a single thing that you want to remember? Wonder why your brain seems to have an extra long “buffering” time with new...
by Jess | Nov 30, 2020 | Blog, COVID Coping, Jess Journals, LIVING with Complex Trauma, My Stories, No Contact, Public Blog, Transcripts
Hey Fuckers. Few weeks, no see. I know what you’re thinking, “What the hell are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be grieving and sorting out your new, estate-tethered life or something?” Yeah. Well, you know me. When times get...
by Jess | Nov 29, 2020 | Blog, Member Posts, MF Speaks, Public Blog
Che Doanya – outside the lines So afraid to admit itSo ashamed you could see itAll the scars that you can’t hideNeed the pain for the healingI was glad it was overI have an open personaJust raise my head highThen I strike like a cobra Now I know why...
by Jess | Nov 27, 2020 | Public Blog, Blog, Holiday Survival
I just wanted to take a quick moment to say, if you’re anything like me… Thanksgiving kinda fucking sucks. It’s always a super lonely, disappointing holiday in my experience. Not that I expect a big, joyous family reunion, uh, clearly, but it always lands on the...
by Jess | Nov 26, 2020 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Holiday Survival, Patron Season 03, Seasons, Series, Subscriber Content
I hate this holiday, anyone else? Just a quick shoutout to all the black sheep gearing up for some sort of disappointment, alienation, or conflict on this day of gratitude. You’re not the only one.
by Jess | Nov 16, 2020 | Public Blog, Blog, LIVING with Complex Trauma, RECOVERY, Tools and Resources
So, an intro to dealing with feelings Fuckers, I need to tell you that when I started writing this Emotional series, I was in a pretty challenging place. You know, dealing with big feelings and personal fears, on top of the rest of my material stressors. Nothing new....
by Jess | Nov 12, 2020 | Subscriber Content, Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, My Stories, Patron Season 03, Seasons
Buckle up… it’s an emotional one. Finally following through on a therapy homework assignment I neglected for 2 years; writing a letter to my motherfucking dad. If you’re not ready for tears (mine), keep moving. Consider this my first unsent...
by Jess | Nov 12, 2020 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Most Helpful - 3 Stars, Patron Season 03, Seasons, Subscriber Content, Voted Most Helpful
We’re all going to deal with it – the death of our parents. What’s it like when the lost parent was the source of your early life trauma? A confusing conglomerate of sadness, anger, enlightenment, and regret? Oh yeah, that’s the start of it....
by Jess | Nov 11, 2020 | Public Blog, Blog, Research
Hey, I’m doing yet another new thing. Writing study summaries for a site called SciWorthy to get some Trauma talk in the scientific learners circle. Below, find my first submission… before I had to cut it down by 50%. Enjoy a review of a review on...
by Jess | Nov 9, 2020 | Blog, Early CPTSD Info, Education, LIVING with Complex Trauma, Public Blog, Research
Here we are, on episode two of talkin bout Emotions. Who’s still confused and critical about this whole “feelings” thing? I sure fuckin am. Let’s dig in deeper, with some more emotional education? Pretty sure we all need it. First of all, I don’t need to give the...
by Jess | Nov 8, 2020 | Blog, LIVING with Complex Trauma, Member Posts, MF Speaks, Public Blog, Tools and Resources
A submission today from TMFR Discord Guru, Doanya. This MF is always spitting out some insight and recent learning that helps us all. She has a ton of experience in sorting through Trauma effects and shows so much strength in her continual efforts to settle up with...
by Jess | Nov 2, 2020 | Blog, Education, LIVING with Complex Trauma, Public Blog
Hey, this isn’t a new story, but it’s one that I think we’re all pretty used to. Just some lifelong internal destruction that seems completely out of my control and impacts my life in unpredictable ways when I least expect it. You know, the usual experience when we’re...
by Jess | Nov 1, 2020 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Interviews, Patron Season 03, Seasons, Subscriber Content
Where were you in 2013? Among other things, I was at a house show where I ran into a travelling DIY musician, Brett Newski. Today, I’m reconnecting with the anxiety-inspired songwriter as we talk about bullying, COVID coping, and mental illness catharsis....
by Jess | Oct 31, 2020 | Audio Podcasts | Subscribers, Git Educated | Intermediate, Patron Season 03, Seasons, Subscriber Content
The TMFR Discord community is full of smart, recovery-minded Fuckers. One of the sunniest personalities is HotMessGuru, a single mom with a new leash on life since starting her CPTSD recover ~2 years ago. Listen to her early struggles, narcissistic partner drama, and...
by Jess | Oct 30, 2020 | Blog, Early CPTSD Info, Jess Journals, LIVING with Complex Trauma, Public Blog
Just having a little brainstorming session today, as I contend with the fact that I just ate half a jar of peanut butter again without realizing it. My thought (after rightfully scorning myself) is… how and why does this happen? Yeah, I know, we have emotional...
by Jess | Oct 28, 2020 | Subscriber Content, Ask Me Anything, Git Changing | Advanced, Patron Season 03, Podcast, Seasons
Hope it’s alright, I threw this into the general podcasting ether a few minutes ago… because, well, I couldn’t download the episode to share it with y’all until I hit “post.” Whoops… I’ll work out the bugs in the...
by Jess | Oct 28, 2020 | Blog, LIVING with Complex Trauma, Member Posts, MF Speaks, MFs Speak!, Public Blog, Tools and Resources
Another post today from Community Badass, Doanya! MF’s always spitting serious words for us (with all the dark humor and sarcasm you could dream of). Here, we have a quick article and reflection on something she’s been dealing with like a soldier, settling...
by Jess | Oct 26, 2020 | Blog, Archie, Jess Journals, Public Blog
It’s hard to believe that it’s been three months since I took Archie on as a foster. I mean, it’s baffling that it’s been so long and so short, all at once. It feels like a lifetime and the blink of an eye, somehow. I’ve been too overworked and distracted to keep up...
by Jess | Oct 26, 2020 | Blog, Archie, Jess Journals, LIVING with Complex Trauma, My Stories, Public Blog
Ya know, I sort of have a problem with seeing everything through trauma and recovery-tinted glasses in my life. If you let my brain go wild, it’ll decide that EVERYTHING is related to trauma and early life events, somehow. Meet a new person? Start sneakily asking...
