3.8 Early Days Rerelease: Comfort in Chaos
Explore the complex relationship between trauma survivors and chaos. This podcast episode discusses how individuals with complex trauma may find comfort in chaotic environments and examines the physiological responses to stress. Learn about the impact of external chaos on family dynamics and personal growth, and discover insights into adapting to challenging situations.
Distress Intolerance and Perseverant Thinking
You know, having this handicapable pup is definitely teaching me a lot. I’m not going to lie and say that everyday is a fucking walk in the park. He can’t even walk, so that makes the metaphor a lot more difficult, for starters. Let me be clear, taking...
✭✭ 3.7 Early Days Rerelease: Axes of PTSD Management
Explore the three-pronged axis for trauma life recovery, focusing on environment, inner landscape, and behaviors. This podcast episode discusses how these components work together to support long-term healing from complex trauma. Learn about the challenges of maintaining progress when only one or two aspects are addressed, and discover insights into creating a more holistic approach to trauma recovery.
My article in “The Anxiety Chronicles” by The Lily
Just leaving this here. My article in The Lily from one year ago! Anxious messes, holler. https://www.thelily.com/long-bouts-of-insomnia-constant-agitation-appetite-dysregulation-this-is-how-i-experience-anxiety/ August 29, 2019 Anxiety Chronicles is a series from The...
Comfort in Chaos
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the behaviors and relations between my mother and I. Why? Because she’s essentially the only human I’ve seen in months… Also, because in the past 20 years we haven’t been able to stand each other for more than a few hours at a...
3.6 Early Days Rerelease: Distress Intolerance and Perseverant Thinking
xplore the concept of distress intolerance and its connection to perseverant thinking in trauma recovery. This podcast episode discusses the challenges of managing overwhelming emotional responses and offers practical strategies for breaking negative thought patterns. Learn how to recognize and address distress intolerance in daily life, and discover techniques for building resilience after trauma.
Three-pronged Axis for Trauma Life Recovery
Sometimes people ask HOW I got any of my shit in order. And let me be clear – I think it’s misguided to ask me – I’m an idiot who just so happened to figure some things out after a lot of trial and error, and enjoys writing too much. That being...
My emotional “Switch.” Trauma, Dissociation, Emotional Numbing
What is there to say about emotions? In the life of a Traumatized Motherfucker… a whole lot. They’re either here, making their presence known in an overwhelming manner that leaves you debilitated to handle the rest of your personal stressors OR out to sea, floating...
3.5 The Anxiety Chronicles 2019
Recently, there have been some challenging flashbacks and memories in my world. Anniversaries do that to me. One year ago there was a lot going on – from publishing an article in The Lily about life with debilitating anxiety… to finally being permitted to...
Emotional Dissociation: A quick article that I didn’t write
Updated: Jun 22, 2022 I was going to write about this “emotional detachment” phenomenon that rules my life… but then I quickly found this article. Eh, fuckit. I’m just going to take a seat and let someone else’s words work for...
Dear dad. My unsent letter.
Hey, who wants an emotional one? Here it comes. Years ago, my therapist asked me to write this letter, fold it up, and burn it. I never did. The other day, it came streaming out unprovoked… My unsent letter to the dude that caused most of my family’s...
3.4 Early Days Rerelease: Prolonged Freeze States
This podcast episode explores the concept of prolonged freeze states in complex trauma. The host discusses the physiological and psychological aspects of freeze responses, drawing from both personal experiences and scientific research. A study on rats is examined to understand the relationship between complex trauma and prolonged freeze behaviors. The episode highlights how freeze states can impact daily life and recovery for trauma survivors, emphasizing the need for further research and understanding in this area.
✭ 3.3 Early Days Rerelease: Emotional Dissociation (AKA Numbing)
This podcast episode explores emotional dissociation in the context of complex trauma. The host discusses the definition and signs of emotional detachment, drawing from both research and personal experiences. The episode delves into the origins of dissociation as a coping mechanism, its long-term effects, and the challenges of reintegrating emotions after prolonged numbness. The host shares their journey of navigating emotional extremes and offers insights into recognizing and addressing dissociative patterns in trauma recovery.
Mental Health In The Workplace: ACEs Role
Anyone else have trouble with work stress and triggering work environments (physical and social)? Holler. It’s been just over 3 months since I quit my super triggering and toxic job… and holy shit, I feel so much better NOT reporting in for the daily...
Research: Freeze States
A lot of us describe getting “stuck” in a Freeze state following a triggering event or new trauma in our lives. I think most of us have heard plenty about Fight/Flight responses in regard to Trauma and PTSD. However, Freeze and Fawn responses are relatively new in our...
✭✭ 3.2 Early Days Rerelease: ACEs and Work Environments
This podcast episode explores the impact of childhood trauma and adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) on workplace performance and mental health. The host discusses common challenges faced by trauma survivors in toxic work environments, including unpredictability, poor communication, and social dynamics. Personal experiences and research findings are shared to illustrate how complex trauma can affect job performance and overall well-being. The episode also touches on potential strategies for managing mental health at work and the benefits of independent contracting for trauma survivors.
3.1 Bonus | First Ever Ask Me Anything
Holler, look who isn’t spewing out 50 minutes of research and writing today! Instead, I’m addressing the AMA questions from the TMFR Patreon and sharing the answers with everyone. What’s my number one recovery tool, why did this project get started,...
Relational “Deactivation” (AKA bitch, you so hot and cold)
I’ve been back at trauma reading and learning lately; a side-effect of preparing to go back to school AND having open access to scientific literature through the school’s online library. It feels like taking a step back into my old life. I might as well...
3.0 Imposter Syndrome: Intro to Season Three
Ever get that voice in your head whispering sour nothings about your shortcomings and the false perceptions of others? Hey, me too. Annnd that’s especially true when I try to meld this CPTSD support project with my actual schooling in ABA. This week,...
✭✭ 2.17 Early Days Rerelease: Deactivation, hot & cold relationships explained
This podcast episode explores the concept of relational deactivation in complex trauma survivors. The host discusses how this defense mechanism develops from childhood experiences of rejection and neglect, leading to challenges in adult relationships. Personal anecdotes illustrate the pattern of intense attachment followed by sudden detachment. The episode provides insight into why trauma survivors may struggle with maintaining consistent relationships and offers a framework for understanding these behaviors as protective responses rather than character flaws.
✭✭✭ Early Days Rerelease: 2.16 Shame and C-PTSD
This podcast episode explores the concept of shame in complex trauma, differentiating it from guilt and examining its impact on relationships and mental health. The host discusses shame’s physiological effects, coping strategies, and its role in trauma treatment. Drawing from personal experiences and research, the episode highlights the importance of addressing shame in trauma recovery and offers insights into recognizing and managing shame responses.
C-PTSD and physical symptoms
Photocredit @ Tia Trauma is a funny thing, huh? You’re keeping pace, holding a job, forging your way through a “normal” life, maybe even leading an “impressive” one… and then, things start going haywire. Maybe it starts with some increased anxiety… depressive spells...
2.14 School: Applied Behavior Analysis and Trauma Recovery
Guess who’s going back to school? Mhmm, yer girl’s getting her M.S. in ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) after years of putting off further formal education. What IS ABA, how has it helped in this ttrauma recovery journey, and how can it help other...
Getting Educational: Shame and Complex Trauma
First, a personal spiel. Then, the research. Something has been on my mind – and in my gut lately. While staying with my mom for the past two months I’ve been reintroduced to a particular creeping sensation… one that is difficult to name or describe....
The Trauma Genre; Punk rock saved my life
Ever look back at your life and think “huh, actually I guess I did alright, considering the clusterfuck?” when you’re forcing yourself to be honest? (or, let’s be real, when your therapist is telling you so.) Maybe it isn’t how you see yourself. Maybe you have a...
2.13 Early Days Rerelease: Trauma and physical manifestions
This podcast episode explores the physical manifestations of trauma and PTSD, discussing common symptoms such as triggers, panic attacks, chronic exhaustion, digestive issues, and dissociation. The host explains the physiological basis for these symptoms and offers practical advice for managing them. The episode emphasizes the importance of holistic self-care, including proper nutrition, exercise, and stress management techniques, in trauma recovery. It also highlights the potential for improvement with consistent effort and professional help.
Lessons from a Cerebellar Hypoplasia dog: Week 2
Today marks the end of week two with my buddy Archie, a cerebellar hypoplasia dog that I’ve been fostering. Nah, this has nothing to do directly with trauma… but it’s definitely a crash course in dealing with my own shit while I tackle someone...
Tia Shares her amazing art
I love getting thoughtful, sharing messages from other folks on their Trauma journey. Last night, I received a great one from a new member named Tia. Better yet – she sent ART! Check out her full Flickr profile here Here’s a quick art blurb from Tia:...
✭ 2.12 Early Trauma Coping: Punk Rock Saved My Life
This podcast episode explores the impact of punk rock on trauma recovery and personal growth. The host shares their personal journey, discussing how punk rock provided community, identity, and coping mechanisms during challenging times. The episode delves into the long-term influence of punk culture on life choices, relationships, and self-expression. It highlights the role of music and alternative communities in overcoming childhood adversity and finding a sense of belonging.
“I’m doing well… no I’m not” C-PTSD and emotional roller coasters
One of the weirdest things for me on this CPTSD journey is realizing how my emotions change with the tides. And how unaware I can be of the gravitational pull. One day I say I’m doing great, the next day it feels like the end of the world. One moment I’m happy, the...
NOTE TO SELF: Try to take care of yourself, asshole.
Another throwback post from a year or two ago! I would like to say that this has changed, but nah. That would be a motherfucking lie. To this day, I still have to leave this note-to-self on the docket. Enjoy this old, still relevant, article from an earlier iteration...
2.11 Victim or Motherfucker? Has Trauma ever “helped”?
Unpopular opinion; early trauma gave me a lot of positive personality traits… you know, along with all the terrible ones. Am I a basketcase sometimes? Sure. Am I also resilient, responsible, good at reading people, and ready for disaster? Yer motherfucking...
Lessons from 1 week as a Cerebellar Hypoplasia single dogmom
For over a year I’ve been trying to get a dog. Yes, I know, there are millions of needy dogs to choose from – what is the “trying” I speak of? How does this take a year? Well, I’m an emotional motherfucker with a heavy shame complex, back the fuck off. Believe...
Getting started with Therapy
So, your head is a fucking nightmare. You know you have anxiety and depression… there are a few other things floating around… but you haven’t gotten the answers or coping tools to make a difference in your life. I feel you. For 20-something years I didn’t see a...
2.10 Caring for everyone… but you
I’m great at taking care of everyone… but myself. Always dissociated. Always slave-driving. Always worried about everyone else. Sound right? What is this “self-care?” How does one “have fun?” Lessons from a life constructed of workaholism...
2.9 Walkntalk | “All your fault,” shinner critic screams.
Shit inner critic, that is. Mine‘s been rearing his ugly fucking face in regards to personal relationships… Logical brain quietly disagrees.
2.8 Early Days Rerelease: Traumastates – Like remembering a fever nightmare
This podcast episode explores the challenges of remembering and processing traumatic experiences during recovery. The host compares trauma states to fever dreams, discussing the difficulty in recalling exact details and emotions from periods of intense struggle. The episode highlights the physical and emotional symptoms of trauma and describes the gradual process of healing. It offers encouragement to those still experiencing trauma symptoms and emphasizes the possibility of recovery with proper support and therapy.
Back to MF school: Applied Behavior Analysis and Trauma
You know, besides this project… I do a hellovalot, ya’ll. I hint and I complain about my precrastinating ways of driving myself into the ground, but I don’t always explain the context. Admittedly, I’ve been keeping a big part of this outside...
2.7 Complex obstacle; Starting therapy
What’s harder than living in hell everyday? Finding someone who can help you get out.
A real MF; Meet my wheelchair pup, Archie
Guys… I’m a fucking sucker. Meet my new foster pup, Archie! Archie is a special guy. He has cerebellar hypoplasia, or CH, a genetic disorder that causes him to be uncoordinated. Essentially, his cerebellar – the part of the brain responsible for...
✭✭ 2.6 What IS Complex Trauma? Off the Cuff
Spoilers: this episode is re-done in 2021! Check out the newer scripted version, which kicked off the new (shitty) year. When we discuss this C-PTSD thing… what the fuck are we really talking about? What is it? How does it happen? What are the long lasting...
✭✭ 2.5 Relatable | Was it really “Trauma?”
“Or am I just sensitive?” It’s hard to know, when our culture has reduced “PTSD” to mean “Soldiers’ disease.” Oh, and your history-denying family? Yeah, they’re not helping either. What is “Trauma,” and...
Astrology and Trauma. Learning about Chiron, the wounded healer
So, I found my astrology spirit animal this past week. Henceforth, go ahead and call me Chiron, the wounded healer. Or just Jess. Or stick with “Motherfucker.” If you think I’m dumb for talking about astrology, Jess from 2 years ago would thoroughly agree. If you...
✭✭ 2.4 Early Days Rerelease: Emotional roller coasters; The rise is relative to the fall
This podcast episode explores the challenges of emotional instability in trauma recovery. The host shares personal experiences with rapid mood shifts, discussing how past trauma can affect current emotional regulation. The episode delves into the relativity of emotional experiences, the impact of negative self-talk, and the difficulties in communicating these experiences to others. It offers insights into the complexities of managing emotions for those with trauma backgrounds and encourages listeners to be patient with themselves in their healing journey.
My recovery is the project of a lifetime
I’ve had a major breakdown in mental health and positive thinking lately. You may have noticed; I’ve been working myself to the bone and complaining about how anxious my mindset has been. Churning out SO MUCH writing all the while. This is frustrating, because it’s...
2.2 “I’m doing fine,” and other human lies
Did you know, Traumatized Motherfuckers started as a mental health recovery project called Guinea Living? Before I decided to go the polarizing and dark-humored route of calling everyone a Motherfucker, I was using some cutesy guinea pig art and talking about trauma...
How it feels “recovering” from Trauma Brain
Found this in my old posts from my older site version of Traumatized Motherfuckers, circa Spring 2019. The long lost works from my early trauma-writing days. (I wouldn’t be a perfectionist self-sacrificer if I didn’t create things, tell myself they suck,...
2.3 Early Days Rerelease: “I can’t” | Too inferior to fail
This podcast episode explores the mental obstacles faced by individuals recovering from trauma and how to overcome them. The host shares personal experiences with self-doubt, perfectionism, and fear of failure, discussing how these challenges can hinder personal growth and recovery. The episode emphasizes the importance of starting new habits despite discomfort, learning from failures, and breaking negative thought patterns. Listeners are encouraged to embrace imperfection and persevere through initial difficulties in their recovery journey.
2.2 Early Days Rerelease: “I’m doing fine,” and other human lies
This podcast episode explores the societal pressure to appear “fine” and its impact on mental health and personal connections. The host shares a past blog post discussing the isolating effects of constantly projecting happiness and the importance of recognizing shared human experiences. The episode encourages listeners to challenge self-defeating thought patterns and embrace emotional honesty in relationships. It emphasizes that mental health struggles are common and that vulnerability can lead to more authentic connections.