Getting Educational: Shame and Complex Trauma
First, a personal spiel. Then, the research. Something has been on my mind – and in my gut lately. While staying with my mom for the past two months I’ve been reintroduced to a particular creeping sensation… one that is difficult to name or describe....The Trauma Genre; Punk rock saved my life
Ever look back at your life and think “huh, actually I guess I did alright, considering the clusterfuck?” when you’re forcing yourself to be honest? (or, let’s be real, when your therapist is telling you so.) Maybe it isn’t how you see yourself. Maybe you have a...2.13 Early Days Rerelease: Trauma and physical manifestions
This podcast episode explores the physical manifestations of trauma and PTSD, discussing common symptoms such as triggers, panic attacks, chronic exhaustion, digestive issues, and dissociation. The host explains the physiological basis for these symptoms and offers practical advice for managing them. The episode emphasizes the importance of holistic self-care, including proper nutrition, exercise, and stress management techniques, in trauma recovery. It also highlights the potential for improvement with consistent effort and professional help.
Lessons from a Cerebellar Hypoplasia dog: Week 2
Today marks the end of week two with my buddy Archie, a cerebellar hypoplasia dog that I’ve been fostering. Nah, this has nothing to do directly with trauma… but it’s definitely a crash course in dealing with my own shit while I tackle someone...Tia Shares her amazing art
I love getting thoughtful, sharing messages from other folks on their Trauma journey. Last night, I received a great one from a new member named Tia. Better yet – she sent ART! Check out her full Flickr profile here Here’s a quick art blurb from Tia:...✭ 2.12 Early Trauma Coping: Punk Rock Saved My Life
This podcast episode explores the impact of punk rock on trauma recovery and personal growth. The host shares their personal journey, discussing how punk rock provided community, identity, and coping mechanisms during challenging times. The episode delves into the long-term influence of punk culture on life choices, relationships, and self-expression. It highlights the role of music and alternative communities in overcoming childhood adversity and finding a sense of belonging.
“I’m doing well… no I’m not” C-PTSD and emotional roller coasters
One of the weirdest things for me on this CPTSD journey is realizing how my emotions change with the tides. And how unaware I can be of the gravitational pull. One day I say I’m doing great, the next day it feels like the end of the world. One moment I’m happy, the...NOTE TO SELF: Try to take care of yourself, asshole.
Another throwback post from a year or two ago! I would like to say that this has changed, but nah. That would be a motherfucking lie. To this day, I still have to leave this note-to-self on the docket. Enjoy this old, still relevant, article from an earlier iteration...2.11 Victim or Motherfucker? Has Trauma ever “helped”?
Unpopular opinion; early trauma gave me a lot of positive personality traits… you know, along with all the terrible ones. Am I a basketcase sometimes? Sure. Am I also resilient, responsible, good at reading people, and ready for disaster? Yer motherfucking...Lessons from 1 week as a Cerebellar Hypoplasia single dogmom
For over a year I’ve been trying to get a dog. Yes, I know, there are millions of needy dogs to choose from – what is the “trying” I speak of? How does this take a year? Well, I’m an emotional motherfucker with a heavy shame complex, back the fuck off. Believe...Getting started with Therapy
So, your head is a fucking nightmare. You know you have anxiety and depression… there are a few other things floating around… but you haven’t gotten the answers or coping tools to make a difference in your life. I feel you. For 20-something years I didn’t see a...2.10 Caring for everyone… but you
I’m great at taking care of everyone… but myself. Always dissociated. Always slave-driving. Always worried about everyone else. Sound right? What is this “self-care?” How does one “have fun?” Lessons from a life constructed of workaholism...2.9 Walkntalk | “All your fault,” shinner critic screams.
Shit inner critic, that is. Mine‘s been rearing his ugly fucking face in regards to personal relationships… Logical brain quietly disagrees.2.8 Early Days Rerelease: Traumastates – Like remembering a fever nightmare
This podcast episode explores the challenges of remembering and processing traumatic experiences during recovery. The host compares trauma states to fever dreams, discussing the difficulty in recalling exact details and emotions from periods of intense struggle. The episode highlights the physical and emotional symptoms of trauma and describes the gradual process of healing. It offers encouragement to those still experiencing trauma symptoms and emphasizes the possibility of recovery with proper support and therapy.
Back to MF school: Applied Behavior Analysis and Trauma
You know, besides this project… I do a hellovalot, ya’ll. I hint and I complain about my precrastinating ways of driving myself into the ground, but I don’t always explain the context. Admittedly, I’ve been keeping a big part of this outside...2.7 Complex obstacle; Starting therapy
What’s harder than living in hell everyday? Finding someone who can help you get out.A real MF; Meet my wheelchair pup, Archie
Guys… I’m a fucking sucker. Meet my new foster pup, Archie! Archie is a special guy. He has cerebellar hypoplasia, or CH, a genetic disorder that causes him to be uncoordinated. Essentially, his cerebellar – the part of the brain responsible for...✭✭ 2.6 What IS Complex Trauma? Off the Cuff
Spoilers: this episode is re-done in 2021! Check out the newer scripted version, which kicked off the new (shitty) year. When we discuss this C-PTSD thing… what the fuck are we really talking about? What is it? How does it happen? What are the long lasting...✭✭ 2.5 Relatable | Was it really “Trauma?”
“Or am I just sensitive?” It’s hard to know, when our culture has reduced “PTSD” to mean “Soldiers’ disease.” Oh, and your history-denying family? Yeah, they’re not helping either. What is “Trauma,” and...Astrology and Trauma. Learning about Chiron, the wounded healer
So, I found my astrology spirit animal this past week. Henceforth, go ahead and call me Chiron, the wounded healer. Or just Jess. Or stick with “Motherfucker.” If you think I’m dumb for talking about astrology, Jess from 2 years ago would thoroughly agree. If you...✭✭ 2.4 Early Days Rerelease: Emotional roller coasters; The rise is relative to the fall
This podcast episode explores the challenges of emotional instability in trauma recovery. The host shares personal experiences with rapid mood shifts, discussing how past trauma can affect current emotional regulation. The episode delves into the relativity of emotional experiences, the impact of negative self-talk, and the difficulties in communicating these experiences to others. It offers insights into the complexities of managing emotions for those with trauma backgrounds and encourages listeners to be patient with themselves in their healing journey.
My recovery is the project of a lifetime
I’ve had a major breakdown in mental health and positive thinking lately. You may have noticed; I’ve been working myself to the bone and complaining about how anxious my mindset has been. Churning out SO MUCH writing all the while. This is frustrating, because it’s...2.2 “I’m doing fine,” and other human lies
Did you know, Traumatized Motherfuckers started as a mental health recovery project called Guinea Living? Before I decided to go the polarizing and dark-humored route of calling everyone a Motherfucker, I was using some cutesy guinea pig art and talking about trauma...How it feels “recovering” from Trauma Brain
Found this in my old posts from my older site version of Traumatized Motherfuckers, circa Spring 2019. The long lost works from my early trauma-writing days. (I wouldn’t be a perfectionist self-sacrificer if I didn’t create things, tell myself they suck,...2.3 Early Days Rerelease: “I can’t” | Too inferior to fail
This podcast episode explores the mental obstacles faced by individuals recovering from trauma and how to overcome them. The host shares personal experiences with self-doubt, perfectionism, and fear of failure, discussing how these challenges can hinder personal growth and recovery. The episode emphasizes the importance of starting new habits despite discomfort, learning from failures, and breaking negative thought patterns. Listeners are encouraged to embrace imperfection and persevere through initial difficulties in their recovery journey.
2.2 Early Days Rerelease: “I’m doing fine,” and other human lies
This podcast episode explores the societal pressure to appear “fine” and its impact on mental health and personal connections. The host shares a past blog post discussing the isolating effects of constantly projecting happiness and the importance of recognizing shared human experiences. The episode encourages listeners to challenge self-defeating thought patterns and embrace emotional honesty in relationships. It emphasizes that mental health struggles are common and that vulnerability can lead to more authentic connections.
2.1 Early Days Rerelease: The masks we wear; Hiding mental illness
This podcast episode explores the concept of “masking” in trauma recovery, discussing how individuals often hide their true selves and struggles behind a facade of normalcy. The host shares personal experiences with developing and maintaining masks, from childhood through adulthood, and the impact this has had on relationships and self-perception. The episode also touches on the process of gradually removing these masks and the positive effects of embracing vulnerability and authenticity in recovery.
2.0 Live | I am the project of a lifetime
Compulsive workaholic for the sake of escaping your own life? Holler – lifetime member of the Overdoing It club. All that self-neglect in the name of accomplishing? It makes me lose sight of my complex trauma recovery. This past month of June, I was deep in a...Belief systems and trauma recovery
Sometimes… I dip my toe into an area that I quickly end up apologizing for. When I mention my spiritual beliefs, I always feel the need to qualify them with a quick disclaimer or a weak,”but what the fuck do I know – you do you.” I’m...Member post; Fred, on facing fears and worrying less
Fred is one of our most prolific sharers in the community. If you haven’t seen his amazing photography and the corresponding post, please go take a gander. I always enjoy his emails about the various adventures he finds living in Portugal, how he realized that...✭ Learn to enjoy saying goodbye to people you love
Alright, this might be a controversial/polarizing one. But that’s sortof what I specialize in, yeah? If you didn’t enjoy being called a Motherfucker and pushed with unsettling concepts, it’d be easy enough to close this window. Well, I’m back...1.19 It’s not “okay,” but I have gender triggers
An early episode, Summer 2020, redacted for… not being PC or un-trauma biased. And I MF know it. Sometimes our past experiences make us unfairly biased or easily triggered, and apparently I have a lot of bad times with a certain ‘male’ energy.Early Days Rerelease: Trauma Loops pt II: Stagnancy, terrible relationships, and self-abuse
This podcast episode explores the concept of “trauma loops” – repetitive patterns of behavior stemming from past traumatic experiences. The host discusses personal examples of these loops, including cycles of stagnancy and overwork, problematic relationships, escapist tendencies, and health obsessions. The episode also touches on positive patterns that can emerge from self-reflection and offers insights into breaking these cycles. The discussion aims to help listeners recognize similar patterns in their own lives and consider strategies for overcoming them.
Quick bit: Using anger for trauma recovery motivation?
This post is available via podcast! Give it a listen if you don’t need any more time staring at a gotdamn screen. Find it here, or search “Complex Trauma” in your favorite streaming service. Ya know, much of my initial mental health coping and...Member post: Izzy, on childhood trauma, eating disorders, and autoimmune responses
You know what I’m shouting about these days? This new Discord community that we’re running. It’s providing more community and naturally-flowing connection than I ever expected! I’m struggling to keep up with the convos… and shit,...1.16 Early Days Rerelease: Leveraging Anger in the war of Complex Trauma Recovery
This podcast episode explores the unconventional use of anger as a motivational tool in trauma recovery. The host discusses how accessing anger can provide energy and determination when other positive emotions feel out of reach. Drawing from personal experiences and punk rock influences, the episode offers insights into channeling difficult emotions constructively. The discussion also touches on the importance of eventually moving beyond anger towards forgiveness and healing.
Two absurdly easy hacks for motivating yourself to do ANYTHING
I’m not going to sit down and hammer out 4500 words today, I tell myself, as I know that I very well may. Funny, how an intention to do one simple thing completely takes over my day as it transforms into 1) a marathon or 2) the first leg of an ever-growing relay race....Member Post and Resource: Daniel F. on “Letting Go”
Recently I’ve been doing this fun thing where I trick my friend Daniel into writing for me. He’s more than just a pal – he’s my partner in crime over on the Community server, and my conversational partner in our brand new podcast effort,...✭ 1.15 Early Days Rerelease: Fear and Helplessness | There is no merit in worrying
This podcast episode explores the impact of fear, helplessness, and excessive worrying on individuals with complex trauma. The host shares personal experiences with driving anxiety and agoraphobia, discussing how these issues developed and were eventually overcome. The episode offers insights into the nature of worry, its roots in trauma, and practical strategies to challenge and reduce anxious thought patterns. Listeners are encouraged to focus on present realities rather than imagined future scenarios and to build self-trust through action.
1.14 Early Days Rerelease: Live | Shaking off shitty behaviors and getting trauma on track
This podcast episode explores the host’s recent experiences with trauma recovery, including the challenges of returning to their hometown and the importance of maintaining positive routines and mindset. The host discusses how consuming uplifting content and maintaining a consistent self-care routine has positively impacted their mental health and perspective. They also share a personal breakthrough in discussing generational trauma with their mother and reflect on the growth of their supportive online community for trauma survivors.
Ru(i)nning my life on Fear and Helplessness
This is another story framed by my morning meditation practice of walking my ass off… but bear with me. For the past almost 4 weeks I’ve been in Illinois at my mom’s little horse farm. To be clear, my time here has been both challenging and healing. So I’ve been...Jess Journals: Turn your worst fears into comforts
You know what sucks? Living out of fear. For years, I didn’t do… well… much of anything. Because it was all too terrifying for me to comprehend making a move. Making decisions was nothing short of horrific when I was so ready and willing to imagine the worst-case...Endless Trauma Loops Pt I: Why… and how to forgive ourselves?
If you’d rather listen to my words than read them, I can’t blame you…so I’ve been recording my writing into audio for your ease of consumption.This blog post exists as a podcast episode, dontcha know. Check it out if that’s something ya...LIVE: My comfortable, crazy-controlled life is over. Leaning in instead of running away.
This series of posts is about my return to my childhood home… but even if you’re not visiting your childhood home and experiencing all your old triggers, I think we’re going through some similar things right now. Isn’t the “end” of...Member resource post by Daniel: “Be Yourself, Do Not Give Up”
Truthbetold… I stole this entry off the community Discord server. If you haven’t popped over to Discord yet to be introduced, Daniel is one of the moderators who’s giving me one hell of a hand getting the “connection” part of this project...1.12 ✭ Early Days Rerelease: Endless Trauma Loops | Why do they happen
This podcast episode explores the concept of “endless trauma loops” in Complex PTSD recovery. The host discusses how childhood trauma can lead to repetitive patterns in adult life, influenced by subconscious programming, core beliefs, and inner critics. The episode delves into why individuals might repeat harmful patterns despite having insight into their behavior. It also touches on the importance of self-awareness, pattern recognition, and self-forgiveness in breaking these cycles. The host shares personal experiences and reflections to illustrate these concepts.
✭ 1.11 Early Days Rerelease: Complex Trauma and insecure attachments
This podcast episode explores the challenges of romantic relationships for individuals with Complex PTSD. The host shares personal experiences with obsessive thinking, insecure attachment, and self-sabotaging patterns in relationships. The discussion covers topics such as ambiguity in new partnerships, the impact of past trauma on current relationships, and the struggle to maintain personal goals while in a relationship. The episode also touches on the process of self-reflection and the potential benefits of focusing on personal growth outside of romantic partnerships.