Video! NVC x Recovery x Behavioral Science
Let’s break down “behavioral strings” and see what we can learn about deprivation, triggers, and emotional spirals. NVC on BS on t-recovery, GO!
5. The “Goodness” of Deprived Needs Workbook | NVC Continued
NOTES Depression is the reward we get for being good children. We’re taught what needs we’re allowed to pay attention to as children, we struggle to break those patterns as adults. This creates lifetimes of deprivation in the effort to be...
3.9b Ending Deprivation and Rehabbing yer Brain with NonViolent Communication
This podcast episode explores how NonViolent Communication (NVC) can be used as a tool for trauma recovery and personal growth. It discusses challenging toxic beliefs, identifying unmet needs, and the impact of self-neglect on mental health. The episode emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and fulfilling personal needs as key components in breaking cycles of trauma and depression.
5. The “Goodness” of Deprived Needs | NVC Continued
NonViolent Communication has more to tell us. Today, we’re talking about “the reward we get for being ‘good’ – depression,” and everything else that stands in the way of fulfillment.
BONUS! NVC x IFS Conceptual Overlap
When does an unmet need become a “burden”? What does conflict signify? What’s the answer to resolving interpersonal conflict and healing ourselves? Let’s talk about the intense conceptual crossover between NonViolent Communication and Internal...
BONUS! NVC x IFS Conceptual Overlap
Hey y’all! Welcome to another bonus episode and thank you so much for supporting the project to this degree. This tier makes my world go round. Your interest and financial backing keep me motivated and keep the lights on. So, sincerely, sending all my...
11.9.4. Rewiring yer Brain with NonViolent Communication | Video+Transcript
Notes:NonViolent Communication suggests our needs drive our emotions, which drive our perceptions.From that point, our behaviors are also affected.Going into an interpersonal interaction with unmet needs primes you for creating conflict via projections.Behavioral...
11.9.4. Rewiring yer Brain with NonViolent Communication
Better communication? Great. A recovered t-brain from the same process? Now we’re fckn talkin bud. Today, we’re discussing the most important aspects of NVC – and they have very little to do with other people. Well… except for understanding why...
BONUS! Applied NVC Vignettes and Exercises
It’s a full length Bonus episode! Let’s cover additional examples / pointers from Rosenberg and run through 4 application-checking exercises together.
BONUS! Clarifying NVC Vignettes and Exercises
We work on transforming our relationships until the next trigger arises … and then we find ourselves back in the healing work … which increases our internal capacities … which in turn increases the quality of our communication with ourselves and others … which flows...
Workbook+Videos! 3. Effective (NonViolent) Communication Steps 3-4
Key Points: 4-step process: Separate your observations from your evaluations. Explore, identify, and take ownership of your feelings that are driving the evaluation. Explore, identify, and take ownership of your needs that are driving the feelings, that are driving...
3.9a NonViolent (Effective) Communication
This podcast episode explores NonViolent Communication (NVC) as a framework for effective communication in relationships and personal growth. It breaks down the four steps of NVC: separating observations from evaluations, identifying and owning feelings, recognizing underlying needs, and making requests. The episode discusses how this approach can help individuals with trauma histories improve their communication skills and understand their emotions and needs better.
3. Effective (NonViolent) Communication Steps 3-4
Time to talk about deprivation driving our shitty emotions and the surprising complex world of requests vs. demands. Let’s finish our NLP x relationships conversation and underlying t-relevant concepts… but only if you’re up for it. Cheers! Detailed...
Workbook+Videos! 2. Effective (NonViolent) Communication Steps 1-2
Key points: NonViolent Communication consists of 4 steps: 1) separate observations from evaluations2) identify and claim emotions3) identify and claim unmet needs underlying emotions4) make a request Today, we cover points 1&2 in depth, in two videos, with an...
2. Effective (NonViolent) Communication Steps 1-2
Last time we learned the basic 4 steps of NVC – now let’s get into the full conversation. Tiny neurolinguistic details and enormous universal concepts that make the process work – or doom it to fail. Today, we’ll cover steps 1 & 2 of...
Video+Transcript! Intro to Nonviolent Communication | Conceptual Re-education
My whiteboard and face are back after needing a self-care break! Let’s run through the 4 steps of NVC, in preparation for the deep details comin at you next week “A major pain point in our relationships involves getting stuck in cycles of reactive...
3.8b Shitpologies (AKA non-apology apologies)
This podcast episode explores the concept of non-apology apologies and their impact on relationships. It discusses various types of ineffective apologies, such as “I’m sorry if,” “I’m sorry, you know I,” “I’m sorry but,” and “I’m sorry you.” The episode emphasizes the importance of taking responsibility, acknowledging the other person’s experience, and offering genuine amendments for repairing relationships. It also touches on the upcoming topic of nonviolent communication as a more effective way to handle conflicts and maintain healthy relationships.
1. Intro to Nonviolent Communication | Conceptual Re-education before the Deets
Why is “humaning” so hard? Well it doesn’t help that roughly none of us know how to speak to each other without control tactics, projections, and mind-reading expectations. This month, we’re talking about NonViolent Communication (NVC) in great...
Rerelease | Learning to Live with CPTSD | Archie As A Metaphor
WTF Mates! Patreon didn’t publish on the 25th. Have this one “late” and sorry about that Fuckers! See you tomorrow in the *new stuff* – NonViolent Communication! Born “different.” Overcoming challenges that...
Rerelease | Learning to Live on CPTSD | Archie As a Metaphor
Motivational figure, wealth of joy, and dedicated learner despite everything that was against him. For a lot more on Archie’s legend, check his tale here follow his story on IG here and check the blog category for Archie. Always Hail Archie. So. How DO you write...
BONUS No “right to safety” in the Family of Origin | When they say the quiet part out loud
Ever have your family members directly state your core CPTSD wounds aloud, with no idea what they’re saying? I have. Let’s talk about the “reasonable expectation for safety” being an unreasonable request in our families of origin. And our...
BONUS Recording from home | “Sibling Rivalry” masking unfulfilled needs
So let’s say I don’t have “the best relationship” with my eldest brother. For years, this has been written off by others as “sibling rivalry”… which hasn’t felt like the most accurate label. What are we really...
BONUS Recording from home | Family recontact reflections
Warning of lesser sound quality! How bout a headphone-recorded off the cuff episode, reflecting on the utility and challenges of reconnecting with that FOO (family of origin)? Cuz that’s where this MF has been… and the results have been...
BONUS Recording from Home | Shared parts and projected conflict between siblings
My brothers and I have some relatively unexamined trauma between us… until recent years. Here’s what I’m finding out, through my family, about myself, and the generational trauma trends that make it obvious “most of our conflict has nothing to...
BONUS Intro to Recording from Home / FOO Recontact
Welp, if you’ve followed along with the show, you know where I’ve been with “family relationships.” Increasingly NC for years. Then, in 2023, filial obliation called. And I hesitantly dove back in. Let’s talk about what’s been...Rewiring your deepest wounds with conflict resolution
Welllll… we’re at it again. Having more “drive the point home” thoughts after reflecting on what was recently said. Who’s ready for another unexpected post? Cuz here we go. Ps – my brain must be feeling better, because it’s got a lot to say lately, and the energy with...
Rewiring your deepest wounds with conflict resolution
What if relational conflict was the answer to healing self-destructive thoughts and harmful lifelong narratives?
3.8a The Key to Healing Relational Ruptures (and two people)
My Fuckers. Hello. It feels like it’s been a while and I hope life hasn’t been railing you too hard in the interim. Me? Oh I’ve just been recovering from my more recent railings. So, on a related note. Let’s keep talking about relationships, huh? Lemme just...Workbook | Non-apology Apologies
Notes: Relationships can’t heal unless we come together from self-undefensive places, make efforts to understand the other person’s experience, speak to the wounds we’ve touched on/created, and offer sincere amendments to our missteps. Unfortunately,...
14 types of non-apology apologies & how-to do them better
How we say “I’m sorry” really matters. Let’s talk about ways that people do it poorly, and what those half-assed apologies actually mean. Then… how to do them better.
Workbook! Relational rupture, without repair | The real problem in our relationships
Notes: We human animals focus on “conflict avoidance” as the measure of a good relationship – but conflict is inevitable and an opportunity for growth. The real crux of relationships is knowing how to repair ruptures between us and devoting ourselves...
Relational rupture, without repair | The crux of our relational issues
Turns out, relational rupture will always take place to some extent. But what really matters is repairing the connection with a simple phrase, “you’re seen, you’re heard, you’re understood, and you’re still loved,” after conflict....
Extra Fs to give in Relationships
Check out the workbook version of this post by subscribing to the Git Changing tier on Patreon and then heading to the Private Member Hub on this site! Each workbook includes the transcript and my doods… and also has bulleted summary notes at the top &...
Ignoring Red Flags; a real life nightmare
Alert: change in programming! And I’ll tell ya why. This month we talked about the real difficulty in starting healthy relationships – choosing the right partner. We discussed honoring what we feel in our bodies around others and examining their social...
10.51 Assessing potential partner’s “parts” through their social systems
We internalize the external systems we have to engage with, structuring our brains to be similar (or counteractively the complete opposite). But no one else can see the many layers of programming we carry – and we’re often unaware of the ways the past is...
BONUS Video! Visualizing “relationship dynamics”
“Relationship” can seem like a nebulous cloud. So let’s keep breaking it down. How can we understand “relationship dynamics” – especially as they relate to learned behaviors that contradict our true intentions? Have some...
Workbook! Sensing “energies” in potential partners, and what it all means
Key points: (IMO) Assigning moralistic judgments (“good,” “bad,” “nice person”) to new relational partners is not helpful. These are reductionary, easy to misinterpret, and can set us on unhealthy courses of action. Leaning on basic...
10.50 Sensing “energies” in potential partners, and what it all means
If the IFS approach isn’t for you, this episode might be. Let’s talk about the validity of “energy” as the biological force driving everything and something we can sense in others. Then, what those “energies” we detect might mean about the potential for the...
10.49 Somatic understanding of “Parts” in others… before you commit to a shitlationship
We can’t predict what the future will hold or rigidly mentalize about other people’s brains, but we CAN be real with ourselves about what lives inside of us that might NOT be able to healthily proceed with another person. Let’s talk about actually honoring your...
3.7. Determining “Are they a good relational partner?” before committing
SO, if you’ve been listening along to all this relational talk for the past few months, you may have been thinking: “Sounds great, I’d love to have fulfilling, trustworthy relationships that appease some of that emotional and social loneliness we talked about back in...
BONUS Video! Interpersonal dynamics, explained by Behavioral Science
Each relationship is a learned “dynamic.” Each dynamic is a series of common interactions. Each interaction is a series of Behavioral Strings. So let’s talk about these shared Behavioral Strings – where each behavior acts as a...
10.48 Extra “survival Fs” to give in relationship; Fronting and Feigning
We all know about the 4 survival Fs at this point. But how about the additional F reactions- Fronting and Feigning? Let’s talk about learned reactions that keep us feeling safe in relationship… while rotting out the connection, engaging manipulation tactics, and using...
Workbook! Extra F’s to give in relationships
Notes: We react with “survival Fs” when we sense our safety is in question. I propose there are at least 2 additional Fs that show up regularly in relationships. Fronting is the strategy of making yourself bigger, stronger, smarter, and more threatening....
10.47 Enough Fluff – Relational “Real Talk” | Setting course for July
The past months of material may have been a shock to the system – where’s all this idealistic relational information coming from? Well, first, let me tell you the personal situation behind the sea change. This month we’ll cover: How do you know when you’re “picking up...
FULL Episode Guide
Episode Guide | FULL Version(Includes bonuses that are available to Advanced subscription tiers. Check your subscription for access.)Looking for something specific? Use “ctrl-f” to search the document for words that are on your brain. Search anything,...
10.46 Visiting family and life updates with Incanthatus | MFs Speak!
This time round, we’re hearing two stories from our buddy Inca! Let’s hear about their… Life Updates; progress in transgender treatment and support, creating an NPD-self-workbook, big anniversary news, and continued certifications for helping others! Adventures in...
10.45 Worthlessness wounds, Burden parts, and self-slaying Punishers with Leanne | MFs Speak!
It’s a double dose of recordings by Leanne and commentary by this MF! Today, we’ll talk about the core wound of “worthlessness” that often underlies a multitude of our repetitive trauma experiences. Then, we’ll hear about two newly discovered Parts of Leanne’s brain;...
10.44 A to your Q: Stunting F responses in relationships
Ya asked, I didn’t want to forget to answer. How do we “get over” fight/flight in conflict so we can master Intimacy from the Inside Out?